Where are All the Bank Robbers?

This Herald article reminded me of a point I brought up in conversation the other day: what ever happened to bank robbers?

See, this some crime that is deplorable and unacceptable (rape, murder, anything with children, etc.) and there is other crime that I really don’t have a problem with (rioting, robbing banks, drugs).

In fact, not only do I not mind a good bank robbery, I actually root for it. You just don’t see ‘em anymore.

A nice “stick em up” and a “put all the money in a bag” just doesn’t exist in the world of internet banking and offshore accounts. Oh, people still steal money, but they do it in technological – aka boring – ways.

Give me the masks with the eye holes. By the way, has that thing EVER been used for winter sports/skiing? Pretty sure I found one in the “Robber” section of Kohl’s. Seriously, look at that mask to the right. Thing’s a robbing mask.

I’ll even take the pantyhose over the head. That’s an old classic. Even better is a sweet Halloween mask, like Barbie dolls, Phantoms, or Richard Nixon.

I love westerns and old movies where there is the same crew just going bank to bank acing it. That’s why when I see something like the two robberies in Mass., I can’t help but fist pump: yessss. They’re back:

“Authorities now believe the same person is behind the March 26 and April 3 armed holdups of a Bank of America in Wellesley and TD Banknorth in Needham, respectively.

“The FBI, Bank of America and Massachusetts Bankers Association announced this afternoon a $32,500 reward for information leading to the arrest and indictment of a mystery man suspected of being a serial bank robber.”

Why don’t you try to catch him yourself? Maybe he’s too clever. You have to be to get away with this these days.

--Nick