We are all familiar with them....and since I work at the fitness center at the U, I would say I'm wayyyy too familiar with this breed of Bro's. They have several characteristics which you cannot miss...they include:
1. Wearing some combination of a cut-off shirt, tanktop, or underarmour gear to the gym. Cool Bro, we get it, you work out a lot. Probably to make up for the fact that you have a small D, and chicks hate you. Besides I once heard one of the biggest/strongest dudes I've ever met say "If you have em, you don't need to show em off son..."
2. Their best friends are their protein shaker cups. In class, in bed, in the gym, on the toilet, at Easter Dinner...there is never an occassion where these bro's don't have their protein shaker with them. It is their most treasured item.....or maybe second most treasured
3. Because their MOST treasured item(s) are their supplements. Which they talk about all day in the gym. "Yeah Bro I was on Andro and stacking that with creatine, apple cider, tarantula eggs, my own semen, and animal stack.....my shit was really popping."
4. They love to tell people they are doing an excercise wrong, and then show them how to do it right....it gives them erections and they will then masterbate to it later on in the day. Yeah this one is self explanatory I guess....I see it so often though I had to comment on it.
5. They have at least 5 pictures of themselves flexing. Pics on their phone, computer, digital cam, license picture, on the shirts you make at the mall...there is no limit to this one.
(Oh Sweet Bro, I'm glad your mom could take time out of her day to take a picture of you flexxing)
And the #6 and most obvious trait of a Gym Bro: Obsessive checking in the mirror. Alright dude you literally just looked at yourself and flexed 94 seconds ago...what do you think has changed since then? Your triceps didn't get instantly larger after one set of pushdowns Bra....bring that self love somewhere else.
Your Fitness Center Reporter,
J Perk
Posts
Wow this article kinda made me feel like a chooch. I fall hard under #1 and 6. (2 outta 6 aint bad) I wear a random old practice basketball jersey to the gym everyday.(never Under Armour or a cutoff-- Ok maybe an occasional cutoff.) And I look in the mirror after every set. Never know, that mighta been the 12 reps that put my traps over the top. One thing u didnt mention that sets me apart from these bro's is, I use the mirrors to creep on girls. While these bros jus straight stare, maybe even hop on the adjacent tredmill and creep. I can check out a girls ass on the other side of the gym through a series of 3 or 4 mirrors. As long as u use more than one mirror its almost impossible to detect. I choose wat excercise im gunna do next based on where the best lookin girls are and how I can get the best angle on them. Its extremely creepy/weird when u lock eyes with someone in the mirror. Its like ure starin at each other w/o lookin at each other. wow Im high, i hope this halfway makes sense
ReplyDeletehahaha might be cause i've been drinkin,but that was illl
ReplyDeleteRlol cleems.....the creeping on girls thing is what sets you apart from the gym bros. They don't even notice other people in the gym, it's really just them and the mirror. And what girls they do notice, they automatically think they want them.
ReplyDeleteBut for christs sakes cover up those lil garden snakes of yours with some sleeves.
I do #4 sometimes, but its only to cute girls that are doing standing side ab crunches......
ReplyDeleteYou are trying to grow muscles on the side of your stomach? You want to look fatter from the front? Think about it.... - Gambee