8 Mile... Highway Detours

First I just want to give you guys a run down of a real good time I had last night. Sev shut down a bar and threw a birthday party for his girlfriend. Shame on all of you who ignored that facebook invite because you thought it was a practical joke. Nick and myself rolled up to Malden representing the south shore and had a really good time. Since Sev was organizing it, we were expecting the unexpected. We got there at about 9 oclock and were hugging moms, dads, brothers, and grandparents. Which was only incredible because the DJ that Sev hired was thumping Birthday Sex in the background RLOL.

The night started like a leisurely walk, jogged on with some vodka tonics, and after some redbull veezys we were in a Usain Bolt sprint to last call.

Nick is off the market but I met 3 or 4 girls that I would marry Hangover style. Everything was pretty standard until the point where I hear the DJ say “I hear we have some kids here who can freestyle so get your ass up here and take the mic”. Oh man, is Sev kidding? Nope this is real. So fast forward through some black kids with graphic tees on the mic, then sev himself rapping lines he wrote all week, and of course Nick and Wolfie are on the mic with mobb deep instrumentals dealing like Buchholz in AAA, well kinda anyway. Im such a chooch but who cares. It was pretty ridiculous and I had a really good time. So yea, props to Sev and happy birthday to Deanna.

On a somewhat related note, Williams pointed out something pretty incredible on our ride home. If you ever try leaving Boston late at night, you’re going to get hit with about 3 detours, 18 cop cars, 20,000 cones, 35 highway dept trucks, and only 1 lane. Picture hitting traffic in the middle of the night, it’s the worst. At first we laughed, then after the 10 thousandth coney cone it got old, quick, kind of like Dane Cook.



Here is the kicker though. We are pretty sure THEY AREN’T DOING ANYTHING. Who’s going to stop them? The cops? Nah man, those guys are in on it. The workers that were actually in trucks were just going forward then reverse over the same patch of perfect asphalt trying to look busy. Those guys must be getting some serious Obama grants. You know the big lights they use to light up the whole road for night construction? We went by one of those and Im pretty sure it was being used to illuminate a poker game between cops and construction workers. Its just unbelievable.

Sevkini and Gordie gets burned

Since I just made the Retta post I found some solid Sev material too. Sev is a real legend. He is the one messing with Retta in the video below. This fire video series happened one night at my old apartment in Mansfield. Poor Gordie passed out and got absolutely torched. Kid wreaked like burnt hair and skin. Gordman was always the guy to take a beating when he fell asleep. I really don't know how he had me and Sev as friends and could sleep anywhere near us. Some of the videos cut out early because I was scared Sev was holding it on too long and I had to put out the fire. Sev's narration is ridiculous too. Don't worry, I have a million more Sev stories too.

The bikini picture above is when me and Sev were at a party and we stayed up the whole night right. Its 6am and Sev walks into the other room. He says, "Wolfe don't look, just get your camera ready OK?". OK Sev. Whoaaa look at this huge monster man stuffed into some 120lb girl's bikini smiling away.

"Thats too much dude."

"No it isn't"

-Wolfie

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Proof

Just needed to say that Brody is the god of all Bro's. I can pretty much prove it too. Legendary Sev and myself worked at Waterworks in Marina Bay a couple times right (I quit when a kid got shot in the parking lot after I broke up a fight). Well the ultimate bro Brody Jenner made an appearance there this summer while Sev was working. Sev ends up being on the Brody detail all night and the bro loved him, even invited him to party after. Sev ends up in the guys limo. I get a call late that night, "Wolfie Im chillin in this guys limo. Brady, that guy from Laguna Beach. This guy is a CHOOCH. He won't stop bugging me about trying to find him some coke and he doesn't get any jokes or sarcasm. Hes short as shit too, I guess TV makes you look taller. Girls love him though. Im gonna go back in there and make fun of him and he wont even get it. Lata man." Since its Sev, I didn't really even blink at this story. Its pretty sweet to remember now that Brody is our bro of the year and Bromance is in full effect though. Also, that story is fully real, its not some spoof or anything. It really happened in the real world.

Also I was looking through some Brody youtubes and they are just gold. Brody and his bro are so unfunny that it is extremely awesome. That spoof video in the last post was great but you might not even need Dillon Hanratty to play Brody for some laughs. Rlol look at these brainiacs.

Im out though bro.