April Fools Saacks

Lets be honest first of all. I am coming clean here. I am a born prankster. You can't pull any nurture shti on me here, it was nature bro. From the time I was 6 I was convincing kids to do stuff that I would love to watch. By 8 I was convincing kids to steal motorboats, at 9 I got my cousin to set up logs on a main road so cars would catch air, 10 I was puttin snowballs through windows, 11 I had Ham shaving his eyebrows for 5 dollars. 12 I was stacked with pellet guns. I tossed the fake/pseudo 357 to Gordie, I took the rifle with the scope, and told Fi "I would start running if I were you" then we gunned him down through my sights and Gordo's dirty harry one eyed aim, blew him off his feet and high fived. I had my sister and Ham running around as paintball gun practice, I was egging houses with Brendan Oneil, Lighting dumpsters on fire with O'Malley, exploding lighters with Ricky Owens, Setting Erickson's fences on fire, the list goes on for pages bro. I was Dennis the MENACE real life version. One time I shot the DARE van from my window of my house and in my mind it blew out the window. I set Washington St. on fire with lighter fluid, threw rocks at cars with Josh Davis, Im tellin ya it never ends. I am the little shit who made sure he got sent to "the center" more than anyone else in 6th grade. A substitute teachers worst nightmare folks.

That paragraph isn't something Im proud of but its just the truth. Its probably 40% of the things I did. Toss in prank calls because I was a monster on those. Then when I met Sev in High School mothers and children hid. That dude was my remote control wrecking ball. It took me getting arrested twice in high school to grow the eff up. Had an epiphany around then. But here is the point I wanted to make.

April Fools Sucks. Its the one day my menacing behavior would have been acceptable, but people saw it coming so I ALWAYS layed low. One year my sister, all innocent and jolly, PUNKD my house. A good 10 or 12 years ago we wake up on April 1st and there is serran wrap on the toilets, salt in the sugar, honey on doorknobs, etc. Im like get outta my life right now. Paula was freakin out.

Im just glad its April 2nd. I don't have to wonder if everything I hear is a lie today. As Bloggers we try to report interesting stories so its pretty much hell for us on the first. Pretty sure we got tricked 4 times. And remember this, the 1st is a true pranksters only day off.

I had a few drinks tonight and know that whole thing doesn't really make sense. Just go with it though. Rock on.

-Baddest Blogger On The Blog, "Wolfman"