A-Roid's DETAILS Cover.

I'm appreciating the Jesus reference, whoever let that slip by is genius.

Then this one is just weird, I thought it was Madonna at first.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Drink a Guinness for me, I'm stuck in a cubicle until 5.

-Kate

Wolfie's Rundown - Profile Style

This post is going to be a colossal version of my old AIM inf0/profile. People used to enjoy those so I feel like I owe it to the original readers to follow up.

Random
-Here is a ridiculous story that I haven't told many people. A few years back, on a dark and stormy night (not really stormy) I was hanging out with a different kind of crew than my normal squeaky clean friends. Guys that I hadn't seen in a while. I'll keep the names generic. So people are partying after a night at the bar. Everyone is swillin beers and there are some other drugs going around. I look over in the kitchen and see Johnny Doe destroy a line of blow. Then my other friend Tim Smith is right next to me on the couch and he blasts down a rail of booger sugar himself. Im hammered, wondering what the hell is going on. It feels like I'm backstage with guns and roses, minus the groupies and instruments. So next I throw out this fun fact to the coke heads. Did you guys know that cocaine was what they used to use as a topical anaesthesia before novacaine? Johnny Doe goes "I guess I could see that, it does make you numb". So I google it to make sure Im remembering it right. "Yup they used to use it on eye surgeries too" I read. The next thing I said was pretty ridiculous... "John, you should put some coke in your eyeball and see if you get fucked up". Then to my surprise he answers with "F-ck it. I'll do it if you put it in for me", incredible. So next thing you know Im standing above my buddy, whos high as a kite and on his knees, and Im lining up cocaine to sprinkle into his eyeball that hes holding wide open. So I drop the powder bomb onto his moist eye, direct hit, and he immediately goes "AHHHHHHHH!!!" flipping out holding his eye. At this point Im dying laughing at both the sheer absurdity of the situation and the fact that John is in a ton of pain that will wear off in a few minutes. A couple minutes later we examine John's eye and it looks like it belongs to a zombie while the other one is normal. The thing is completely snaggled and dilated, I was geeking out at this thing. John tells me he cant feel it at all and tells me to poke it. I poke his eye and he doesn't flinch then I give his eye lid a power flick and he doesn't flinch either. Thats about it for the story though. Its nothing to be proud of but not everyone can say they've put coke in their friends eyeball ya know?

-on a lighter note, craisins are awesome. I recommend putting them on your cereal, craisin bran anyone?

-The Stimulus package is no joke people. We should probably be keeping up with it because its so significant and unheard of before. When I want to understand an economic or business issue, the first thing I do is see what Warren Buffet has to say about it and then go from there.




-You might be wondering who that is licking my face in the picture above. I'm not exactly sure though because its not me. Its a picture of Yahoo Fantasy Sports expert Brad Evans. I was trying to research for the big draft the other day and see a sweet lookalike of me. Tell me if you agree. (get outta here if you dont see it, thing is so me, maybe a little bit of zim mixed in?)

Blog
-Williams American Idol post was really good. I need to catch up. That show is pretty unique in the fact that the auditions and actual competition are completely different shows and both get great ratings.

-Im going to try and do more of these grab bag / AIM info / random thoughts posts. This one is going to be long because I have a lot built up, but Im sure you understand...I am using this to tie up loose ends and ideas but I also wouldn't mind responding to comments and questions in my posts. Also going to try and do more comedy and stories because I know my material have been sports and more sports. Retta was telling me to bring back some old classic stories and not to worry if some readers have heard em before.

Entertainment
-LOST was awesome last night. I think I said it last time but it didn't just break into my all time shows, it kicked the door in. Ive never looked forward to like I do with this one. I almost get nervous because I know they are going to blow me away with something crazy every week. Its very unique, absurd, and awesome.

-I had a nice slacker day today so I watched a couple movies, Jaws 2 and The Matrix. J2 is good because its funny to watch how much it sucks. I hadn't seen it in years so I completely forgot about the part where Jaws eats a helicopter. I was dyin laughin as Jaws sinks and then pretty sure eats the chopper with the pilot inside as ppl are watching and screaming. As for the Matrix? Forgot how awesome it was. Such a good idea and really well done. The original is definitely the best.

-Oscars are coming up on Sunday. Looks like Slumdog is the heavy favorite for best picture. Also note that Ledger is an absolute lock for supporting actor. Hes -1000 on the sportsbook.

Sports
-I somehow missed when Weezy was on PTI a couple weeks ago, even when I had it marked down on the calendar. Click that link and you can see all his answers consolidated. The performance was pretty akward as you can imagine but I think Weezy was actually serviceable. You could tell he took it somewhat serious. I could listen to his doped up take on life or sports every day.

Here is Weezy on Manny Ramirez, "People in LA need to calm themselves down. Manny Ramirez is going to end up in a Dodger uniform. He's gonna take the three year deal at some point because there is nothing else on the table. LA fans are getting hyper in the mailbag, but they don't need to worry. And like I said, if he goes to the Yankees I'll record my anti-Manny song for the next album and it will be the best song on the album."

And on Alex Rodriguez (Actually solid), "If I were his manager I wouldn't know what to tell him other than to play his butt off. Hell, I'd probably just tell him to retire at this point. You know there's something else that's gonna come out, and he better retire and sell his book before it comes out and he turns into Canseco. But he's not going to retire so the one thing I would tell him to do right now is focus on being a better teammate. He needs to bust his ass for his team and hope they have his back because it's going to be a long season."

-The 50 second pause in the middle of a sentence before Rodriguez uttered thank you to his teammates "to my teammates.....(50 secs elapse for forced dramatic effect)........thank you" in the press conference made me want to barf. Wow that was terrible and painful to watch. Thats the thing that turned me away from the Rod. I was on his side until then but hes just too much of a tool. Don't try to play me bro. Hes gonna keep getting put on the flambe and rightfully so because hes not telling the whole truth. A-Rod is a mental midget. I don't think he even understands how risky it is to spill so many details mixed in with with half truths. The more complex a lie is, the easier it is to trip yourself up and easier it is for a good cross examiner to tear your shit up. I think its only a matter of time before he gets Frost-Nixon'ed.

-Following up on Dumars taking Darko... Detroit was filthy at the time and didnt need anyone in particular so they took a chance on the raw euro kid who could be the next Dirk. In the process they passed on Melo and Bosh, both number 1 picks in a draft that didn't include the basketball Jesus. Dumars dropped the ball with the pick but I think they also blew it in terms of development. Darko never broke into the culture there. He couldn't relate to black america, seriously, guy is a goofy eastern european. They never let him in the inner circle because they didn't need him to save the franchise like most top 2 draft picks. Bosh is outgoing (and black). Cant you see him going to that team as a 6th man, working with the vets, buddying up with Sheed, and winning them an extra title as a starter down the line? Check out an excerpt from an old interview with Darko I found. Read it and you'll know what I mean.

Question: What has the coaching staff worked on with you in particular?

Darko Milicic: Everything, everything. Play one-on-one, and all this stuff. Post-up moves.

Question: Is practice heping? What is focused on with you in practice?

Darko Milicic: Playing five-on-five, but there's not a lot of practice, because there's a lot of games. We don't have a lot of practice like five-on-five, it's just working on shooting, because the guys, they're tired. And that's why I don't have a chance to play against these top guys.


-Chris Paul hasn't got the attention he deserves this season because we are so enamored with the collision course LeBron and Kobe seem to be on, and rightfully so. Just make sure you consider or acknowledge the fact that CP3 might be the most efficient PG of all time. Read that last sentence again, whoa. Then balance CP's spectacular play so far with the play of a big man about the same age in the other conference. Dwight Howard isn't just playing well, hes dominating. The young talent in the league is so impressive. I don't see the Celtics beating the Cavs to be honest, but if they do we need to finish out another title quick. The window is closing.


-Also, this was awesome.



-Wolfie

Organic King? Pondering A Favorite, Junior Griffey

There is no proof he was clean. Perkins actually thinks its 50/50 (Williams and myself put it at about 5% chance). But he never failed a test that we know of and hes never been connected to it. And the perception, which is the important thing here, is now going to be that the best natural player of our era is or was Ken Griffey Jr. The dominating public opinion put A-Rod as the best and Griffey sat at number two. But now with A-Rod coming clean the crown will get put on King Griffey Jr. I just wanted to reflect on an old favorite. I wanted to remember how good he was, think if he could have ever been dirty, and pretty much just hope that he wasn't. I think a little part inside of us serious baseball fans needs him to be clean right now.

I admit that I enjoy Junior getting some extra positive press. It makes me feel good remembering how ill Griffey was. Noone was cooler than Junior when we were kids. All of us 80's babies grew up trying to imitate his stance. And even today, noone pimps a home run like Ken Griffey Jr. In the 90's he won a gold glove every year and hit 40+ home runs 7 times, incredible. He was the face of the game during that decade. One of the most popular players of all time.



He could hang it up this year, we don't know yet. Last year was the first year Griffey wasn't a great hitter. Imagine if this cat didn't lose his legs? In 1999 he swiped 24 bags. In the years since he stole 17 combined. You gotta give him credit though. His greatness left when his defense and legs did, but he could still swing the bat a little, even up until recently. Griff hit 30 HR two seasons ago and 35 in 2005. Its not that often you see a guy with an injury plagued career hit over 600 home runs.



In his prime Griffey's game was speed, finesse, flexibility. He had all five tools and was as smooth as a ballet dancer. He wasn't the strongest hitter but he could generate some great bat speed. He couldn't have roided right? To say such a thing is baseball sacrilege. Yea, he hit 56HR in back to back years, but even then we didn't love him because of the power. We loved his attitude, his smile, and his squeaky clean swagger. As fans we loved seeing Griffey rob a home run as much as we loved seeing him hit one. We loved seeing the smile after a catch and the pimp walk after he golfed one 400 feet. Noone was smoother than junior. We wouldn't do well with it if anything ever came out.

Griff also got the benefit of the doubt in the public eye because he didn't have the steroid body. What does that prove though? As we found out with Palmeiro, who looks like a latino college professor, body type isn't a definitive indicator. You can juice and take all different kinds of cocktails of roids that will give you all different effects. Some are more mild than others, some are add bulk, some endurance, or strength. Roids like Primo, Winny, Deca etc are pretty mild compared to the HGH and Test stacks Victor Conte was prescribing. Just labeling someone as a steroid user is extremely vague in itself, so looking at a body type to clear or implicate a person is irresponsible.

We don't know, but we do hope. Only Griffey knows the truth. If he did juice, it would be a heavy burden to carry as the new Roy Hobbs. Baseball fans want it to be true. They, want someone to point to for an example of the last great one before steroids came in and messed with our heads. Its funny how haywire baseball goes when we have to rationalize a new big name testing positive. It really throws us off. Baseball is a numbers game, and thats not just a cliche. We judge everything and everyone on the numbers. Contracts, home runs, steals, 714, 61, 90 feet, etc. And when we find out someone messed with the legitimacy of our holy numbers, all hell breaks loose.

God, please let nothing ever come out about Junior Griffey. A-Rod pained me and I don't even like the man. I need Griffey to have been clean for my sanity as a baseball fan.

And if he decides to hang it up this year, he'll be missed by a whole generation of fans who look at him as one of the best to ever do it. Stay gold, Ponyboy...Stay gold.

(Do you think Griff was natural? Post in the comments section.)

-J.Wolfe

A-Fraud

     (Pretty sweet bod on Jeter huh?????)

Alright...in all seriousness, A-Rod is an absolute beast. Roids or not, the guy mashes, and is probably the best baseball player we will see in our lifetime(s). Throw out the notion that you hate him and think of this:

I hate a couple of things about this...FIRST who wants to remember all of their favorite players as cheaters? Second of all the argument that really isn't brought up enough is the fact that not only were a great amount of players juicing during this time period, but some of them were in fact PITCHERS. Juiced up hitters were going yahhhddd off juiced up pitching. 

Secondly, I want to see this whole F*ing list. I bet baseball has protected Arod (and others) for a long ass time, and this coming out was a mistake for sure (only because the list was found after being looked at for the Bonds investigation). If your throwing A-Rod under the bus (the best most hated athlete I've ever seen/heard/read/dreamt about) then I want to know what dudes have flown under the radar.

And once I know this, I want them to admit they took them just like A-Rod and Pettite...not swear to me they never took them fully knowing their man friends were shooting needles in their ass.

I want the TRUTH....is that too much to ask?

-J Perk

BREAKING NEWS: A-Rod Tests Positive

Sports Illustrated is reporting that Yankees’ Megastar Alex Rodriquez tested positive for steroids in 2003, his last year with the Rangers.

Wow and wow. Can’t believe another HUGE star has been linked to roids. Unbelievable. The Golden Boy. The Best Clean Player in the Game. Throw a big fat asterisk up on his stats.

I’m not even reveling in this development. You’d think as a Sox fan and certified A-Rod hater, I’d be soaking this in, jumping for joy. But to tell you the truth, I’m kind of stunned and disappointed. I want at least some clean players in the game.

Between Clemens, Bonds and now A-Rod, that’s a combined 16 MVPs and Cy Youngs. Jesus. Remember all the talk of A-Rod breaking Bonds' HR record and therefore "making it clean again?" Silly.

It sure does make the accomplishments of Griffey, Ortiz, Manny and Vlad seem that much more impressive. You know..until it comes out that they did steroids.

Talked to Perk on the phone quickly today and he raised a solid point: he might be terrible with this swirling him all season. Hope so.