Fixing a Lie-Pod

OK so this story originates when some months back Jake gives me a like new ipod touch that I didn't deserve. In his line of work he comes across them a lot. If they don't get claimed after a while, they end up in the hands of people like me. Anyway this touch was unreal. Its an iphone without the phone part, pretty much a laptop. I used it everyday until it broke. Today I got around to fixing it.

So Im walking into the Apple store at the Braintree mall and I start doubting myself. What if this thing was reported stolen? I can't go to jail, not built for it. Ill give a fake name if I have to. "Hello sir can I have your name?" Shit. Yup its Jared... Johnson, yea Jared Johnson. "OK sir, and your email?" Yea, its jwjohnson@gmail.com. At this point Im sweating, literally. I am now going by an alias? And one with my real and rare first name? What if this guy can get inside this busted Ipod and sees that I just switched johnson with wolfe in the info I gave?

"Alright Mr Johnson, you are covered under your applecare warranty and we can replace your broken Ipod with a brand new one today". OK Cool. Im thinking to myself that this is def a setup. They caught me lying and hes paging security. Shit shit shit. "Here you go James (hands me a brand new touch) Now if you could initial here and here and print your name here and sign here." So Im initialing JJ and printing and signing Jared Johnson on this swap agreement form. Im 50/50 on whether this is just adding forgery charges onto my 10 year jail sentence at this point. And why the hell did he call me James? At this point I looked behind me and who do I see? Gene Hackman. Fuck.



Wait. Calm Down. Channel that Heathen Robert Langdon and remember the answer. He thinks Im Jimmy Johnson who also happened to have an ipod touch in his database. This is a good thing. (That was my best Dan Brown imitation/shoutout.)

I am walking out of the store now with my brand new Ipod and half expecting that I am going to need to punch out Paul Blart and sprint for my car. I check the receipt. James Johnson, New Albany Ohio, jwjohnson@gmail.com. Wow. So the random email address I gave was the registered one for a James Johnson in Ohio who just happened to have an Ipod Touch under warranty. I guess James and Jared were close enough for the guy to just not care or ask, but jesus. I probably should have bought a scratch ticket on the way home, but I just settled for an Ipod I didn't deserve.

-J. Johnson

Few Updates

-I decided that Urijah Faber is my fav mma fighter earlier today so I wanted to make sure I caught him against Pulver on Versus tonight. I did, and Faber dismantled him in the first round. Like I said in a previous post, Faber got caught when he fought Mike Brown and lost the WEC belt. In the rematch I think Faber tramples him and my wallet might think the same thing. Brown is getting all hyped but he doesn't impress me that much, just a heavy handed brawler and nothing special. Faber is fast, strong, explosive, a former wrestler, can stand with anyone, great submissions, sick tempo, and has maybe the best cardio in MMA. The only way you really beat him is to catch him with a lucky punch like Brown did when Faber went for a flying elbow. Interesting note is that Joe Lauzon and Hermes Franca who are matching up in a couple weekends, both hold submission wins over Mike Brown.

-Ovechkin and the breakaway challenge at the skills competition. Chara also hit 105 on the slapshot competition and set the all time record. Ovechkin really needs his own post though soon. Jesus he is a gap toothed creature.

-We are getting good feedback on the blog so far but we've got some work to do in terms of traffic. Nick checked our old wordpress blog and realized we still get over 500 hits a day and up to 1500 on some days. Thats more than we get here and we haven't updated the old blog in a year. What the? Wordpress tags get scooped by search engines much better than blogspot I guess. We'll figure it out soon enough. Keep spreading the word for us in the meantime.

-I got an Ipod touch yesterday and damn, that thing is extremely ill. If you have wireless in your home, it might be worth getting. Legit life changing possibilities. All the applications, the wifi, the music, google earth, youtube, safari, dvd's, games, shows, etc, are very awesome. Also I have Pandora for it and if you were late to the party on that thing then get on it asap. It just feeds you nonstop music over the internet and it learns what kind of music you like over time and gives you stuff you would like. I could do a whole post on Pandora alone but if you have an iphone or a touch you need this.

-Im copying this from the old blog but oh well. I know some people have already watched this one but I cant risk someone not seeing it. Mullet head got walloped and pwned. Sounded like a gunshot. Look at the look on the punchers face as shes winding up, then the double fast walk away. Check out the old lady at the beginning too. Love this clip so much. Rlol


-This next youtube is actually pretty recent. You know the quote that says trust the art and not the artist? Well that would probably apply to Joaquin Phoenix' decision to pursue music. Great actor, but are you toying with my life man? Get a grip bro. Seriously grab a mach 3 and come back to planet earth.



-Wolfie