Quicks

-I was talkin to Big Bill today at work and he was telling me a story that Ive actually heard from other people too, well similar anyway. The larger point is that getting flustered is really funny to me. Its only happened like twice when I've talked to a girl who is a legit 12. I tried to talk and nothing came out, like nothing at all, then nonsense. You see that stuff in a cute little comedy movie but it can happen. Anyway, the Bill story was he was pumpin gas and saw Lauzon doing the same thing and recognized him. So Bill starts going over different things hes gonna say to Joe like "nice fight man" or "whats up Joe, Im a fan", etc. Then he starts overthinking it and wondering if he should do the handshake, introduce himself, etc etc. So he just starts walking over and immediately gets too nervous, jumps in the car and speeds away. This huge tattoo'ed man got flustered by seeing EB's own, Joe Lauzon pumping gas, pretty funny to imagine.

-Another kind of ridiculous thing that happened to me today was when a few of us went out to have a few beers because part of the proceeds were going to cystic fibrosis as a fundraiser. One of my best friends siblings is affected by it so my crew supports those kind of fundraisers. So anyway, I shot down enough beers that Im feeling loose. Me and Sev (click Sev on the labels to your right for a couple posts with Sev stories) head outside to try and bum a cig. We get to talking to these cute scummer girls and end up having a good time. Next this old hammered creep comes stumbling out and is talking to the girls telling them they are young and cute. Im like what dude? The guy starts telling us to stop smoking butts because he used to and he got throat cancer from it but beat it. Im like man thats awful but Im thinking oh man what a downer and convo killer and I dunno if I believe him. Then he says he switched to drinking and got liver cancer from it. So hes slurrin and asks "are you guys gonna keep smoking butts?". So I decided to get a littlllle risky. I look at him and do the vocal chord voice box imitation and say "I AM TRYING TO QUIT". It was terrible, the drunk oldie was shook so Sev offers him one. Oh man thought there was a 50/50 shot he was swinging at me. Guy stumbled to his car and bounced. Not proud of that joke but it was ridiculous and risky. The guy was too much of a tool and I was too drunk. Cancer jokes though? Good shot at a hell reservation.

-JW