BREAKING NEWS: My intramural game has been cancelled tonight

From my intramural captain....who is definately on drugs:

"A tear comes to my eye when i say thing. please as you read this email find some quiet time, isolate yourselves from others, and remove your hats as we bow down together for this email message.

There comes a point in a man's life when the unexpected occurs and all you can do it react to it. You can't question it you just need to leave it alone or it will eat you alive. Today gentleman we have reached that point. The holocaust, atom bombing of Japan, or the Tsunami cannot compare to what i am about to tell you.

THE GAME TOMMOROW NIGHT IS CANCELLED AND WILL IS BEING MOVED TO NEXT February the 11th at 10 pm

This has left me in an utter state of confusion for the last 20 minutes. First i tried to shit in a urinal. Then I actually respected a girl. And last and most importantly I held the door for a minority. I know its tough but all we can do is stick together. But just a reminder there will be no game.

When i asked Michael Hill why god has done this, he replied Pimp as Hoe Bitch Mother fuck nigga Brendan, bad things happend to good people. He then described the complications the other team went through during their sex change operation which none of us can relate to I wont describe. He then proceeded to change into his little sisters shirt that she got as a christmas present when she was seven, and then proceeded to call Nomar a Homo and takes 35 naked cuts in front of the mirror and download some porn. But fuck it who cares?!!

PS Since we have a week till the next game and all promises/incentives to play are still on the line, email me now if you want my sisters to go on a special diet so they can get plump or lose weight in time for post game wednesday.

That is it im outtie. Captain Incredible. "


Jesus this kid is gold. Ya can't make shit like this up folks.....

As a disclaimer I would like to say the thoughts of this man in NO WAY reflects the thoughts or opinions of White Kids from the Burbs. Thank you.


- J Perk