Okay, let me preface this with this was a real ad on Craigslist a week and 1/2 ago. It got flagged for removal, as most of its kind do. I LOL'd in my cube and ppl started staring, just fyi.
To the woman who crapped in my car… (NE Portland)
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM PST
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling".
I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat.
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…touché…
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Definatley LOL'd... FYI Kate, your fellow blogfather Jared created the term RLOL (translation: Really Laughing Out Loud)which is universally understood in the EB region...try it out..
ReplyDeleteSecond, I understand the gamble on a fart thing, but who the fuck gambles on a fart on the first date and inside a car?!?!? The best outcome is that it doesnt deflect off the leather in a loud manner, and that it doesnt dutch oven the whip. I'm saying the odds on a positive outcome are slim......
Maybe the bitch is just signaling that she loves anal and her passage way isnt as tight as it should be? ahahaahaha
i definately RLOLed
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just tried to read it out loud, and I started crying.
ReplyDelete