Well today is your lucky day, because I have assembled a checklist of things that I make sure to do each night that I go into town.
-Drink 3-6 drinks and enjoy a treat (of your choice) before going out anywhere
-Call Nick a chooch or choochiest kid 12-340 times
-Give someone at bar the "Charlie Daniels" (PLEASE refer to video below...specifically from 30 seconds on)
-Make sure to call at least 3 other dudes Bro for example "Oh excuse me Bro where'd you get that sweet grahpic T-shirt?"
-Continually try to get girls by leaning to your boy as they walk by and saying outloud "Is that the one!?!?!"
-As you near the point of blackout, don't give in.....go order another round of drinks and call yourself "The Kid" to the bartender. Example: "Why don't you round up 3 Coors Lights for The Kid"
-Repeat the "Charlie Daniels" or whatever your favorite crotch chop is...preferably directed at a female
-When told you did something rude and innappropriate respond with, "Hey Bro, Sorry for Partying"
-As you leave the bar make sure to yell weird things at people you see on the streets like this classic at any girl "Think ya cuuuute" or to guys "Your a chooooooch"
-Blackout
-J Perk
-As you leave the bar make sure to yell weird things at people you see on the streets like this classic at any girl "Think ya cuuuute" or to guys "Your a chooooooch"
-Blackout
-Seach for another treat somehow...someway (at this point, this includes BK, Wendy's, McDonalds, etc)
-Wake up and pull trigger if need be
-Repeat Saturday Night
Follow these simple steps, and you can party just like me. Enjoy the weekend ya bitches.
-Wake up and pull trigger if need be
-Repeat Saturday Night
Follow these simple steps, and you can party just like me. Enjoy the weekend ya bitches.
-J Perk
Posts
Pretty dece list, but I'd like to add a few vital steps:
ReplyDelete1) In preparation for going out, make sure you put on your favorite cologne and call it the "secret weap." Then say something like, "Oh yeah, you're gonna ignore the SECRET WEAP on the KID?!"
2) Play beatttttttssss as loud as you can. Preferably something cheesy (read: fire) that you and all your friends love. Use one line from that song the whole way to the bar ("MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK / IN FACT, HE'S HALF WHITE")
3) When at the bar, don't shy away from saying "FIRE" or "CRISP" at extremely loud volumes as girls walk by you
4) Be honest with your friends. If you're hammered, feel free to announce it. I like to go with, "Holy sh*t. I am f**k**g WASTED right now."
5) If you feel like you might fall two two rows of seats from teetering, go ahead. Just make sure everyone around you is OK.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rlollll at the last part. Wish I had that thing on video..I would have posted it to the blog like 5 times by now.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't need to buy you the Blog Guide to find out how to party like a pro like you Jake
ReplyDelete