Toilet Paper, Cabbies and The Mailer Demon

-What's the deal with cab drivers always on the phone? No one talks on the phone more than these dudes. Seriously, they're ALWAYS on the phone. What's going on with them that's so important? They'll chatter on that thing the whole entire time you're in the car, barely taking the time to ask where you are going. If you're going to a place they don't really know, forget about it. The phone wins out over you. Always laughing, speaking weird languages, prolly love the free nights and weekend promos, huh.

-Ever have toilet paper stuck to your foot, for realll? That's a nightmare come to life. Something you thought only happens in movies, right? But for some reason you went into a bathroom, maybe one in an airport or a bar, the ones that for some reason look like a room in the Titanic after it hit the iceberg -- water fuckin everywhere. Then you step in a lil TP and it clings to your shoe. Wayyo, you better catch that before you leave because ppl will love seeing that. No one really knows why out side of the fact that it is one of the main ways to embarrass people in TV/movies, so we just make it the same in real life. I guess looking like you just dropped a mondo deuce is pretty "shitty."

-You know who I love? The mailer demon. Don't EVER mistype an email address or send to an addy that no longer exists. Cause this dude will track you down and email you back. I know it's an automated system, but what's with the name? Mailer Demon? Really? It's a demon? It's haunting you for f'n up an email. Why so evil? And why is he universal in every type of email server? Sometimes, I like to fuck with him and email him back. "I'll email anyone I want, asshole."


-Getting sunburnt is one of the worst possible things, prolly. It alternates being extreme hot and cold and eventually gets itchy. Just a bundle of annoyances rolled into one. Maybe put a lil aloe on it...oh wait for some reason the Aloe was stored in sub zero temperatures. Sweet. Try sleeping at night and it just irritates, itches and burns. Then the next morning when you hit the shower, oh man, just stand back if you have good pressure, cause that's basically a torture chamber if you have to stand under a pulsating hot stream of water with some red shoulders.

---Nick