Summer Treat Series Volume 3

The Outdoor/Beach bar. Nothing screams Summer like being blackout drunk outside in nature just as God intended....

I was recently out in Plymouth with some of my homeys when I realized why every bar that is either outside, or on the water is so succesful. It really boils down to the following things....

1. Being outside is just flat out better. You can't tell me that being outside on a nice night doesn't put you in a good mood...because it F*ing does. Partying outside is one of Summer's greatest assets, so why wouldn't you want to be outside blackout drunk stumbling around???? I mean if you need to puke you can just hit up some corner of the deck, lean over, and unleash the dragon all over the bushes....perfect.

2. It brings out the biddies, and for some reason they're all fire. Me and my boy Retta had to go up to girls with imaginary fire extinguishers and put out the flames this past weekend at Cabby Shack, granted all the girls thought we were weird creeps and it was an epic fail, but still, the girls were all so awesome to look at. I guess you really just can't be ugly and go to a beach/outdoor type bar, it's just the lay of the land. I mean if your a guy you can do whatever you want(which is why I was there), but girls know better.....

3. Similar to point 2, but sooo different at the same time....Cougars. They are an absolute staple to these types of establishments. The warm weather attracts the older women like you wouldn't believe, and for some reason they all love you. Your the funniest kid to them, and they want to take you home and make sweet love to you...or at least that's what I think whenever I see one. I think they are also drawn in by the next item on the list....

4. Live Bands. For some reason they kill it at these bars...the Cougs all love it, and after a few beers even I will be singing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" at the top of my lungs. I mean who doesn't want to hear "Don't Stop Believing" as your gagging back puke trying to talk to a nice little dipset from the rich town next door telling her in the area because your playing in the Cape Cod Baseball League....

Let's all face it, the girls are better, the music is better, and the beer just tastes better when your partying in a place like Plymouth. I've already made my way to a few of these places this Summer and they have yet to let me down. So when you head out this weekend, grab a 6 pack of twisted teas and drink them on the way to the nearest outdoor bar of your choice...tell em The Kid sent ya. (It will mean nothing, and you will probably get a weird look, but I always wanted to say something like that). OH, and don't fake fire extinguish girls....as ill as it is in your head, they will hate it.

-J Perk