A Tribute to...Jonathan Coachman

Felt like I finally needed to address this little gem now that he’s become a fixture on ESPN telecasts.

Jonathan Coachman is kind of the man. The former WWE employee was an announcer, wrestler, personality for the organization for years. He always played the pseudo-corporate guy who got berated by Vince McMahon, humiliated by the wrestlers and outsmarted by everyone.

Initially just an announcer, as is the case with a lot of WWE personalities, he became more of a part of the show the longer he was there. He was such an ill doofus, I almost shit the first time I saw him on ESPN.

Talk about breaking in to broadcasting. Guy worked for my two favorite enterprises maybe. He does whatever he wants. Just a fire speaker, I guess.

Check out the ish he used to be a part of. This clip is so redic it could only happen in the WWE:



Now he does ESPN News and he’s been on SportsCenter tons lately:



Best part was when he had a shit-eating grin on his face interviewing Vince McMahon during the Denver Nuggets, WWE, Pepsi Center fiasco:



Woo, you know I was throwing DX into the mix:


John Cena runs into Coach at ESPN. Love this clip:



Coach, you ill gimmick announcer man, WKFTB salutes you for living the dream.

I got twooo worrrdsss forrr yaaaaaa

Play my god damn theme music.



Nick really spurred this with his little youtube below.....shit I didn't know the WWE was still ill.



-J Perk

DP's Motivation

Rob Bradford talked to Pedroia the other day and got the scoop on his off season motivation. The answer he got was pretty different than what I expected. I would have guessed that the writer in Texas who left him off the MVP ballot would be the thing driving him. He loves proving people wrong, we all know that. But that wasnt what is driving him, he has been mostly motivated by... Well, I'll copy paste it right after I bring up a couple other sweet Pedroia moments. First, remember the security guard story?



He was stopped at the players' entrance at Coors Field in Denver during last year's World Series against the Colorado Rockies. The security guard didn't believe Pedroia was a player and shooed him away. Pedroia seethed. He produced his players' ID card, and the security guard questioned whether it was legitimate.

Pedroia, unable to contain his rage any longer, dropped a subtle reminder, much to the delight of Red Sox manager Terry Francona, who tells the story.

"He says, 'You don't know who I am? You really don't know who I am' " Francona says. " 'Ask Jeff f-ckin Francis who the fu-k I am. I'm the guy who hit a bomb off him and ended their f-ckin season."

How about how Jerry Remy stunk? or when he asked Brian Roberts before a game if he brought his glasses for the laser show during batting practice.? Meaning he sprays line drives everywhere.

So what is driving DP this season? How about the guy who first gave us the "Wooo!", Ric Flair, and a DVD of greatest moments. For some reason this absolutely cracks me up.

About four weeks into his offseason workouts, Dustin Pedroia had an epiphany.

He had already won a Gold Glove and American League MVP while adding a $40 million contract to the mix. But, as Pedroia is often quick to acknowledge, every little bit of motivation goes a long way.

“I watched a lot of motivational movies,” he said. “But what was huge was when about four weeks into my workout, one of my buddies downloaded (professional wrestling icon) Ric Flair’s greatest moments. So we were sitting there watching it and Rick Flair goes, ‘If you want to be the best, you’ve got to beat the best.’ I’m sitting there thinking, ‘That’s my calling. That stuff was awesome.’ That put me over the top.”

Pedroia and Dodgers OF Andre Ethier are college teammates and friends that work out together at Athletes Performance Institute in Arizona. After this epiphany they now wear Hulk Hogan shirts that say "Hangin and Bangin on Venice Beach" and pump each other up with different famous wrestling sayings and slogans.

RLOL


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Urban Dictionary is a real good website if you haven't used it. Its a dictionary but made like a wiki and full of slang. Its good for jokes, real info, white ppl wanting to understand slang bang, everything. This next definition is pretty disgusting but its creative enough that Im going to post it as the UD Definition of the day.

Double Dunk: 1. Double Dunking is the act of taking a crap while sitting upon another person's lap who in turn is also taking a crap using the bottoms legs as a seat and letting the material fall through the space between the bottoms legs. While on the toilet, there is ample room in front of the person on the bottom. This extra space can be utilized by a second person in order to increase defecating efficiency. Variations of the double dunk include the "French Double Dunk", where the top person faces the bottom person. 2. When one person sits on the toilet to go number two and another person sits on top of their lap to do the same. The top person must do their best to aim for the small space available that people normally just use to look down at their nuts, peer into the water, or sometimes spit. Ex. Hey man all the stalls are taken, let's double dunk real quick

-Jay Dubbs

Chris Jericho Snaps

Y2J, aka Chris Jericho, was leaving a WWE event the other day when a fan ran up to his SUV and started banging on it when Jericho was at a stop sign. Jericho got out of the car and mayhem ensues:



My thoughts: The biatch deserved to get bundled. Wrestling fans are unreallll to me. Listen to some of those comments. "You're a disgrace to Canadians" and "I never knew he was an asshole in real life." Hoho. Love itttt.

-Nick

A Tribute to....Torrie Wilson

Holy mother of GOD Torrie Wilson is hot. However, believe it or not I am not paying tribute to her just because of her smoking good looks (similar in many ways to mine....just kidding).

The reason for the tribute of this WWE Diva is because while I was glancing at these pics I was also reading the interview that went along with them. In the short little interview (gotta keep it short or guys won't read it) she said this:
“On my first day, I had to seduce Vince McMahon in front of his wife,” says the 31-year-old former fitness model. “We started kissing, then I went to pull his pants down. I thought, ‘Where would this happen, other than the WWE?’”


Now I don't know if that is true or not, or maybe she just had to "act" that out on McMahon in front of his wife, whatever the case is it's awesome. In fact, maybe this tribute should be to Vince McMahon for thinking of shit like that.

So soak all of these pictures in my friends, and ladies if you are reading this, follow Torrie's lead and realize that it IS ok to try to seduce men, even if they are in front of their significant other. In fact, it's a crime if you don't start kissing / pulling the pants down of any man that you potentially want to work for.

I'll get at ya lata....

- J Perk