We are all familiar with them....and since I work at the fitness center at the U, I would say I'm wayyyy too familiar with this breed of Bro's. They have several characteristics which you cannot miss...they include:
1. Wearing some combination of a cut-off shirt, tanktop, or underarmour gear to the gym. Cool Bro, we get it, you work out a lot. Probably to make up for the fact that you have a small D, and chicks hate you. Besides I once heard one of the biggest/strongest dudes I've ever met say "If you have em, you don't need to show em off son..."
2. Their best friends are their protein shaker cups. In class, in bed, in the gym, on the toilet, at Easter Dinner...there is never an occassion where these bro's don't have their protein shaker with them. It is their most treasured item.....or maybe second most treasured
3. Because their MOST treasured item(s) are their supplements. Which they talk about all day in the gym. "Yeah Bro I was on Andro and stacking that with creatine, apple cider, tarantula eggs, my own semen, and animal stack.....my shit was really popping."
4. They love to tell people they are doing an excercise wrong, and then show them how to do it right....it gives them erections and they will then masterbate to it later on in the day. Yeah this one is self explanatory I guess....I see it so often though I had to comment on it.
5. They have at least 5 pictures of themselves flexing. Pics on their phone, computer, digital cam, license picture, on the shirts you make at the mall...there is no limit to this one.
(Oh Sweet Bro, I'm glad your mom could take time out of her day to take a picture of you flexxing)
And the #6 and most obvious trait of a Gym Bro: Obsessive checking in the mirror. Alright dude you literally just looked at yourself and flexed 94 seconds ago...what do you think has changed since then? Your triceps didn't get instantly larger after one set of pushdowns Bra....bring that self love somewhere else.
Your Fitness Center Reporter,
J Perk
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