Rain's Reign

So here we are, another day another downpour session. At some point, are we all going to go completely mad?

How much longer can the Northeast region take? Will we ever see the summer?

The entire East Coast has been hammered with shitty weather for the past month+. Pretty sure my 10 days in Arizona coincided with a stretch of 10 rainy days. The average temperature in Boston for the month of June was FIVE degrees lower than normal. Five degrees is some serious shit.

As we slid into July, it should be an automatic great weather, 85 degree weather everyday, no questions asked. Instead you see some peeps in jeans and shit still because it's raining tons.

I saw a special on the NBC's national news broadcast, before the latest string of rainy days mind you, and it said that the Jet Stream is lower than normal for this time of year and we're getting typical March-April weather and cold air from Canada because of it. Not sure how long this will last but I really can't take much more of it.

Flying into Logan the other day, you couldn't even see the city because of the intense cloud cover, but the time it cleared we were about 2 feet off the runway. So I come from a place that's literally 100-105 every single day to a city that's soaked and nearly pitch black at 5 p.m. Feels like Scotland, only as I leave, I have to pay $6 for about 30 mins of parking, then $3.50 at a pointless toll.

After basically throwing away 10 bucks, I figured the worst was over. Nope, stuck in fat traffic on a Saturday. Coooool. Basically, just thinking to myself Massachusetts saaaacckkkssss...

--Nick

Secret Service, the News and Freezing at the Pump

Before we get to the post, just wanted to announce that WKFTB founder Jake has been without internet for the past couple days. That explains his lack of posts. Me and Jared will try to pick up the slack with extra posts in the interim. Now to the info...

Good point by buddy Retta brought up to me the other day: How much do you hate pumping gas in the winter? Legit below freezing and sometimes below zero temps, not to mention whipping wind chill, and you have to stand out there for 10 minutes in that wind tunnel terminal they use to cover the pumps. Ride around on ‘E’ for a few days just waiting for it to be a little warmer and bearable.

Another winter thing that I can’t stand is the dryness of my skin these days. Got moisturizing body wash, gentle soaps and lotions up the ass and still have little eczema lookin things cropping up. Makes me uncomfortable and itchy. Just gross. In the summer I got baby skin, dece on the eyes and fire to the touch.

The obsession old people have with the local news is mind-boggling. I just don’t get it. I understand the national news, where they bring you a bunch of the major relevant stories that affect the entire country (economy, environment, president, etc). But the local news is just trash. Someone killed someone here, there was a car crash there, some idiot tried to rob a bank, there’s a school in the suburbs that decided to ban candy. It’s legit full of stories that you will forget the next day when you have the whole next slew of car wrecks, assaults, and delinquent parents. And OMG if it’s going to snow?!?! Look out…parents might be glued to the TV for hours straight. “They say were getting fouhh—to—six inches, be cahfulll.” News just makes you panic and/or miserable.

I like the idea of the Secret Service. Not what they do or what they stand for, but just the name really. I like service – car service, bar service, escort service, room service – and you know I like secret shit. Secret service just kind of ties it all in for me.

Something my buddy Anthony brought up to me: People in college legit use Facebook messager to communicate rather than AIM. Imagine ever using that tiny thing? Only useful if you’re at work or something and AIM is blocked on you comp. But even then you’re probably better off using Meebo and that type of AIM. Wouldn’t use FB Messager if it was the last thing available to me. Just wouldn’t talk to people.

--Nick

A Tribute to.....Mother Nature.

Ohhhh Mother Nature....what a bitch you are. When you are in a bad mood, just like most other women, you will do whatever it takes to ruin my day. I firmly believe that if I am having a bad day, I will walk outside into a gust of wind that instantly makes it 15 degrees colder than it already is, courtesy of the skank mentioned above.

I don't know about any of you but I hate the winter in New England. I know there are some dudes out there that love to ski and snowboard , but if your not doing those things then how the F can you not hate this weather??? I just woke up to a forecast that says it might snow another two times this week....whattt theee shitttttttttttttt.

Listen Mother Nature, you better hope I don't see you on the streets, or its on you cold hearted biiiiitch. I'm sick of walking outside in freezing temperatures, having my boogs freeze on my face, and having to clear off my god damn car.

By the way the video above features my Freshman year roommate Nicolas Wild West Wah Buffalo Bill Killer Kwong (Nick Wah Bill Kwong)....OR at least that appears to be him, I haven't seen him since he moved out of my room freshman year at the U, sweet video Nick.


- JPerk

A Tribute To.....Hot Weather Girls

Ahhh yessssss, loooook at youuuu hot weather girl/woman. You deliver the forecast fully knowing that the only reason you are on television is because of your good looks (or the BJ you gave to your station manager). Sure you don't know the weather, but its alright, because no weather man/woman anywhere in the country does either.

(Yeah that's right earthquake...in my PANTS!! hiyyooooo...I'm a chooch sorry).

It just felt right with today's inclement weather that I had to send a tribute these girls way. Do they deserve to have their jobs....probably not, BUT they put asses in the seats. Guys are so dumb and typical, you could put a hot chick on the television and have them talk about just about anything and they would watch. So please don't mistake my sarcasm for stupidity, because if I was running the weather channel, I would have playboy bunnies stumbling over their words delivering the weather to horny dudes everywhere, and it would be golllld.



I was surprised how difficult it was to find a couple good pics of smoking weather babes. Took me like an hour on google, but in my search I did come across a sweet post on a message board which really brings my own ranting to a close...in talking about one of the local weather babes this dude said: "She doesn't seem able to read the teleprompter very well, but she's been improving." I bring this post to a close with a video of a couple hot spanish weather babes...or babinas, or chickas, or whatever you say in Spanish.


Hot Weather Girl Compilation - The most popular videos are here



One more thing, all you unnattractive weather girls/women out there reading this...don't hate the playa, hate the game. Plastic surgery is only a couple grand away sweetheart, go make it work.


ONE.

- J-Perk