Music Monday Part 2

Jay-Z - "Ghetto Techno"
Blueprint 3 drops September 11....can't wait.


Much like Nick....I SWEATTTT Banks. Mainly for his first CD which was FIREEEEEE (The Hunger For More).

Lloyd Banks - "730"


Remember where ya heard it.

-JPerk

Music Monday Part 1....I know I'm a little late.

This one is for you Kate.....and me really because I'm starting to sweat Cudi.

Kid Cudi (Produced by Eminem) - "I Hear Them Calling"


Amerie ft. Lil Wayne - "Heard Em All"
I had to throw and R+B track up because I feel like I haven't in a few weeks....whatever it's my blog.



-JPerk

Bruschi Swag..

In my post below, I forgot to include how Bruschi, when he was in his prime, had a nice little swagger. Nothing over the top, but this attitude was how the old Pats used to roll on defense:



What up, Sal?

--Nick

A Tribute to...Tedy Bruschi

One of Boston's most popular athletes, Tedy Bruschi today went out with the same class and personality that made him so revered in New England.

Bruschi's retirement press conference just wrapped up and the man who made so many plays for the Patriots over the years left with grace and on his terms. There will be no Brett Favre saga, here.

Bruschi -- or Bruuuuuu as he become known in Foxboro -- had an illustrious 13 years in the NFL, all with the Patriots. During that time he was a free agent twice. Only once did he ever visit stadiums outside of Foxboro. But he never left. He visited Green Bay, but once he came in and saw the Packers' Lombardi trophy from 1996, he knew were he belonged.

Bill Belichick loved this man. He nearly broke down in today's press conference, his voice cracking as he referred to Bruschi as a "perfect player." Whenever you can make Billy B, the autotron, the ruthless prick robot, nearly shed a tear, you must be pretty special.

And Bruschi was. He slowed so noticeably over the past couple years, that you almost forget how good he was in his prime. Back when the Patriots were winning Super Bowls every year they were known for defense. Different players stood out from year to year, whether it was Rodney Harrison, Ty Law, Richard Seymour or Willie McGinest, but one player remained at the forefront of the D for the entire span of the dynasty: Bruschi.

This was back when the Pats defense, not offense, was perennially in the top 5 of the league, when you could plead for a turnover at a critical juncture in the game and more often than not, someone would deliver. Many times it was Bruschi. The unquestioned leader of the defense, he spent the majority of his time closing the gaps or in coverage, a far cry from his pass-rushing duties at the University of Arizona. But no matter where he was on the field, he constantly made plays:



Plus he was a good guy off the field. Parents loved the guy. An actual pro athlete role model. He did charity work. He was a family man. He worked hard. He came back from a stroke to excel for another season or two before age and miles on the football odometer eventually caught up.

He did become sort of a gimmick the last few years, just because as the Pats' defense slipped and become a step slower, so did Bruschi. He was beloved by the overweight white dad slugging Miller Lites and it was always a little humorous to hear that he was still someone's favorite player.

But with retirement comes perspective. And looking back on his 13 years with the Patriots, a run that included one Pro Bowl but more impressively five Super Bowl appearances and three titles, you cannot help but realize the role that #54 played in your lives for three hours each and every Sunday.

So here's to you, Tedy Bruschi, the Brumeister, WKFTB remains grateful for what you brought to the table. We salute you -- and so does the rest of New England.

--Nick

The best call of all time???

Happy Friday everyone. I just got back from dropping off my brother SP the Ghost at Columbia (yeah he's a lot smarter than me, I know) and for that reason I really have no energy for a typical Friday rant.

But I have been listening to the new FM sports station 98.5 the HUB, specifically the Maz and Felger show (Tony Massarotti and Mike Felger) and I have heard the following call now about 15 times now....and honestly have got goosebumps all 15.

This will definitely get you geared up for tonights game, even if it is Pre-Season. Fast forward to the 1:10 mark....the call lasts until about 1:35


If you don't get goosebumps your probably not a Pats fan but shit...I had to put it up here today. I've literally got goosebumps just by saying it outloud myself, and yes I realize that makes me a chooch. Easily the best sports call of my lifetime, no questions asked. If I get creative I might be back on here later, if not...have a good weekend.


-JPerk

AOL follow-up

Thursday throwback might be my favorite thing to do. Not on the blog, but in life. It always brings backs mems and provides a sweet conversation piece, either virtual or in real life, with readers.

Couple things:

-YouTube is so great. I knew that if I did a search for 'AOL sounds' they'd have something. Wasn't a doubt in my mind. People make the most random stuff. Peep all the AOL sounds. I can't believe I forgot the best one...Files Done!! LOL get outta here with the dial-up noise. Used to have those sounds and intonations memorized.



-Remember the busy signal you'd sometimes get when you tried to dial in? Sacckked. Always thought you had a secret solution to it. "Nah, nah, I'll just try the Brockton number the Plymouth is always busy."

-And the most egregious omission from the post was the profile. How could I, purveyor of all things profile related, forget where it all started. AOL gave you a forum to show people who you were and what you were about. Of course, it brought the first forms of cyber-stalking, but in essence it was probably the first form of social networking, which like it or not is what might mark the 2000-2009 generation. Facebook, Myspace, et al. It's all people do.

--Nick

Thursday Deal

First of all Happy Thursday everyone...Friday and the weekend are right around the corner. And just in case you are not aware, there are only two weekends left before Summer is over, so make the most of them.

Moving on, today's deal is something to help you all gear up for some post season baseball. If you are like me and enjoy actively playing video games and really want the Wii but you are too poor to buy it just like the kid, I bring you a baseball treat.

Plug&Play Baseball - $17.99 with Free Shipping.

Click HERE to buy this gem and start smashing HR's in your living room / impressing women.

Just don't do this....



-JPerk

Google is as racist as...

via

Google has since righted this not-so-PC search glitch. But still...really Google? Really? You have all those algorithms and all those MIT grads and some a-hole off the street is finding these ridic search corrections...Google is Evil, I'm telling you...I don't (but so often do) trust something so widespread and omnipotent...I google everything, It's pathetic. I think I'm going to pull a Benedict Arnold and start using Bing.com...but really Microsoft? way to come into the game 5 years late.

I want to clone this kid and hang out with all his clones while they all ask me cute questions about life. When was the last time something so simple put you in this state of wonder/awe? I miss childhood. Being a kid was the best.




For all the John Legend Fans and all the secret ones...

Freak Out, John Legend.



All Night Long, John Legend (Featuring Estelle & Ludacris)

Thursday Throwback: AOL

(Every Thursday WKFTB will bring you a throwback, something that reminds us of our late-80s-early-90s childhood. Today's edition: AOL.).

Ahhhh...good ole America Online. You could lump a few other services in here. Prodigy. Netscape. Others I've since forgotten. But AOL was the original and best. It had email, web browsing and -- omg -- this communication tool called INSTANT messaging. Like, you could message someone, instantly.

And the sounds. Oh, who can forget the sounds. "Welcome." "You've got mail." "Goodbye." Plus we had doors crankin open and shut, little beeps and droplet sounds for some reason. It was ill.

It also gave a whole new forum and exacerbated the progress of two things: creeps and people trying to peep porn. Creeps had a slew of new chatrooms to prey on others. Oh, that lesbian chat room you wanted to check out for jokes? Yea, that's all dudes in there. "Huh huh, lesbos bro.."

Just don't ever try to sneak on late at night without first giving your comp a speaker check. Cause you will absolutely blap your whole house with a giant WELCOME in the middle of the night. C'mon, anyone who hears that knows immediately what you're up to. Hide the tissues, bro. Thank your little brother or something for leaving the speakers cranked up playing computer games. I haven't even mentioned the dial-up sounds "ceee booo coooo jjjoo choooo koooooo ppujhhjkhj"

Another great aspect of AOL was the fact that at first everyone had to use it on their phone line. You always knew the families that sweated online because you'd never be able to get ahold of them. Moms, in particular, hated it. "I can never call Ms. Smith, that Johnny is just always online!"

I kind of miss AOL. The orig buddy list was ill. The email was super easy. Combining them all into one system was genius, and really what enabled AOL to take off and become the internet service for the masses. I sort of chuckle when I see people with AOL email addresses still. I know you can just log on to their website now and that's how it's done. But in my head I imagine them dialing up and waiting like 5 minutes and getting blapped in the dome with "WELCOME!"

--Nick

Is this the best song of all time?

Kate sent this to me a few minutes ago.....the original, or at least what I thought was out about 9 months ago or so...maybe like 8 with just Lil Wayne and the chorus. My god I never thought it would be featuring such FIYYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Drake feat. Kanye West, Lil Wayne, and EMINEM - "FOREVER"


Is it the best of all time?

REMEMBER where ya heard it first.


-JPerk

Are the Kennedys the Best?

Is the Kennedy family the best ever? Do I like them just cause I'm from Boston? Just cause I'm Irish-Catholic? Or cause my dad swears JFK was the top person in human lore? I don't know. All I know is that they are crispy.

With the recent passing of Edward "Ted" Kennedy this morning, we've lost another legend. The Kennedys are famous for many reasons. Politics. Philanthropy. Being rich. Being insanely good-looking -- just look at that old school pic of Johnny, Robbie and Eddy? Killin' it.

Plus they love drinking. After all, John Patrick Kennedy made his fortune partially from bootlegging during prohibition and then securing the rights to Scottish liquor companies (Dewars and Gordons) as soon as prohibition ended. Sure, he had a hand in Hollywood and real estate too, but booze was hi bread and butter.

Kennedys party too. Sometimes a little too much. This is another reason why I sweat them. The also love women. Sometimes a little too much. JFK was the Wilt Chamberlain of the Oval Office. He made Bill Clinton look like Andy Stitzer.

They all seem to die tragically too. Ted lived long and battled cancer and died with dignity, just look at the outpouring of support today. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing someone fawning over him. But so many of the others suffered from assassinations, plane crashes or some other form of tragedy -- the so-called "Kennedy curse."

Is it a crime to be smooth, handsome and wealthy? I think not. Robert and John were assassinated because there are too many haters in this world. People hate the best. And these dudes murk it. Have been for years.

I don't want you to think I'm trivializing the death of an American legend. I just need to get it out there how much I sweat the Kennedys. Wish I was alive when they were at their height. Even better, wish I were boys with them. I bet we'd have some sorry for partying nights.

So here's to you, Kennedys, may you breed and bring us a few more heavy hitters. Cause America loves a baller. And ya'll bring it. And if you don't like the Kennedys, then faaccckkk yoouu doooodddeee.

YouTube Phaseout 2009

Tragic news, YouTube (my bread and butter) has phased out my company's version of Internet Explorer...so until my place of "work" catapults itself into the year 2009 I will no longer be on the "bleeding edge" (as the douches in corporate America call it) of YouTube clips. I was going to ask the systems group for an IE upgrade, but then if confronted with the question, "Why?" I figured I couldn't mention the blog nor the inordinate amounts of company time I use on said internet, more specifically YouTube. So, this is all very tragic...maybe it's like cubicle Karma. Maybe this will incite me to originate my own thoughts and opinions versus just posting funny video clips...only time will telleth.

Until then, I'm just going to post some YouTubes...they may not be the newest, freshest items on the shelf, but they are good for a laugh. Thanks good people.

PS...all those Bros pictured below just look like they are having a good time. What's wrong with just having a good time? having a good time...having a good time. Lonely Island said it best...



This kid is already an internet Phenom, but he's also the shit. I hate the Dad/Tourist/Fanny Pack Wearer that walks by halfway through. Is it safe to say that stunner shades won't go away and are cool when worn ironically, but not ironically by hipsters...because hipsters belong with Bros in the dregs of society, amiright?




I promised myself I would never buy another iPhone after I lost mine in a drunken episode last summer, bitchfit ensued. But seriously, now there's just wayyyyy too many sweet apps. My phone now doesn't do anything cool, it's so soft.



See you next tuesday,
Kate

BRO M G

Have to admit I can't not laugh out loud at Jake's bro pic. But at times like these you need to put things into perspective. As much of a bro as any of us will be, we will never approach the heights of this guy. Just study that haircut on the thinning hair, too incredible. Never seen someone look so uncomfortable in their own skin. Guy needs to do some soul searching.

A Tribute to....Kate Mara

Or as most of you who watch Entourage have probably already found out....E's new assistant. She also has been some popular movies like Shooter with Mark Wahlberg, as well as We Are Marshall. I don't know if you would call her a red head, or a strawberry blonde....but I guess I would just call her hot as hell.

What I was very surprised to find out about Kate is the fact that her father's side of the family indeed owns the New York Giants. I guess the last name should have gave it away. Also, her mothers side of the family owns the Pittsburg Steelers. So not only does Kate probably know more about football than anyone who reads this blog, she also has been involved with the last two Super Bowl Champions....in my mind it's the sole reason each team won.

And since I know the pictures here probably weren't revealing enough for you guys here is a short youtube clip of some of her scenes from Shooter. Ignore the last 15 seconds of the video I don't know why it was thrown in.....


This honestly might be one of my favorite girls I've ever paid tribute to....and that's a huge compliment. I hope she is on Entourage for the rest of the season.

-JPerk

A huge Bro we all know

Shit this is like too easy to do. Look at these pictures of some more Bro's that I know....took me 3 seconds on facebook to find these pictures. I want you to REALY focus on the Mega-Bro that is in BOTH of these pictures. He is the Bro being featured. Such tell tale Bro signs....Dead of winter with pink tanning booth tan skin (oh yes that's real), chooch pose, one earing, and a collored shirt under anoher shirt. Prototypical Bro Behavior.

And MY GOD look at this pic. If this isn't the model of a BroPose then I just don't know what is.....and to top it off...the Hollister long sleeve. A known Bro Brand....my god, what a BROment.

I'm just happy I could bring these to light....

-JPerk

BROs I know

As we go about posting our regular bro section, we obviously have to show you some bros we know. Here's a ill lil treat, some dudes I met out one night:

Here is another one. I believe he said his name was Ricky Martin:

Oh No, BRO

Some anonymous commenter said it best the other day: "Why don't you guys go back to posting the bro pics?"

So f'n tru. We need to go back to our roots. Here are some sweet ones I saw today on The Dirty. Look at this tanned BRO-sive:


Some of the bros double fistin...catch Mike BROwell on the left:



--Nick

Songs I'm Feelin'

Did this once before. A lil different from Music Monday in that some of the songs aren't necessarily new and also may be a lil lighter ( ya, gayer, Nick, woooo). Shut up. Anyway, can this song be stopped, or is it officially one of the greatest songs in musical composition history:

Jason Derulo - Whatcha Say


The question is: Do I sweat it because of the rap or because it's a remix of an old song on the OC? I think we all know that answer (the latter). Much like The OC, Fox's 4-season young adult drama that brought us Seth, Summer, Ryan and Marissa, this song is good over and over and over again. Ummm whattchaaa sayyyyy.....

Lloyd Banks - Best Kept Secret


OK, Banks. Bringing it finally with some old school flow and a chronic beat. I love Lloyd Banks. His first CD was one of my favorite albums of all time. Seriously, I played that thing as much as any other. Love puns and metaphors and the Punch Like King brings em always.

Wycleaf Jean - Streets Pronounce Me Dead
Wycleaf is like Diddy to me. Ya, he's a little corny from time to time, but he gives me bangers than I wanna bump when I'm partying. Remix this with a big beat and it would be fiyahh in the clubs. Ladddiiiess...


Green Day - 21 Guns
Wait, wait, it's possible to NOT sing this song all day after you hear it?? Cause I've never been able to. Like it or not, and I don't really, Green Day is still ill. They've been bringing it for years. Plus anytime a rock band goes up an octave in a chorus (One, twenty-one guns) it's a recipe for a hit, just like the midget voice, screaming Latin gibberish and more recently, the auto-tune. Fall Out Boy does the Octave Up more than anyone. Probably why they're crispy.



Party on brosssss.

--Nick

F it, I'm going to talk sports.....

I know that I usually don't come on here really talking about sports....that is the job of Nick and Jared. I think on the whole they both have different opinions than I do on a lot of stuff and are much better suited to write nice postings on the wide world of sports. I was a college athlete (a mediocre one) for years and for some reason it warped my mind on a lot of things which really makes me incapable of being rational at times. But anyways....I have honestly watched about 90% of Sox games this year. I count watching 5 innings as "watching the game" just so we can be clear....and I have come to 2 conclusions which might go hand in hand.

1. I miss the F*ing shit out of Manny. When he was causing problems last year and they got rid of him I was honestly fine with it....but tell me you wouldn't welcome him back right now with open arms? He might just be that girl that I'll always have feelings for ya know? (Yes I'm talking about YOU Megan Fox). (Oh Yeah...you don't want THIS guy back!?!?!?)

2. The 2009 Red Sox are SwaggerLESSS. They have none man...zero. Paps is a clown, Youk is a doofus, Ortiz isn't the same, Bay doesn't speak, Lowell is an old friendly uncle, I haven't heard Nick Green or Gonzo speak words, V-Mart seems ill but it's too early to tell, Jacoby has as much power as I do (he is ill to watch I know). The 2 lone guys that have swagger are Beckett who literally might kill a child to win another WS, and Pedroia who thinks he is the best ever and I respect the shit out of him for that even though his brother diddles 15 year old dudes.

Trust me...I'm not saying you need swagger to win. Plenty of boring teams have won the WS, the Angels in 2002, and the recent Cardinals WS teams were both as boring as they come, but I for one am sick of it. I want dudes pimping HRs, doing ill handshakes every inning, dishing out crotch chops after called strike 3's, and I WANT IT NOW.

That is all. I don't even want to address the actual nature of the team right now or whether or not they'll make the playoffs....

-JPerk

Music Monday Part 2

Wyclef Jean - "Warriorz"
It's always nice to see Clef back in action....


Mario Ft. Rick Ross, Young Breed & Gucci Mane - "Break Up Remix"
A little something different for ya.....


Remember where ya heard it first.


-JPerk

For the Record...

...you're not scary dressed up as a ninja, unless of course you are a real ninja. Quit it, you're just a joke and people blog about you.

Pub Crawls, Sun Roofs and the Dentist

Saw some people doing a Pub Crawl a few weekends ago when I was working at the Tavern. Oooh a Pub Crawl, am I supposed to be impressed? Cause I am zero. Oh, you get blacked out and go to a few different places? I do that to. It's called a Saturday.

-Now that I'm into Season 2 of Mad Men, it's official: all my favorite shows make me want to drink. Whether I'm watching Don and Campbell swilling whiskey on Mad Men, the good people of Bon Temps downing beers at Merlots on True Blood, Turtle and Vince ripping shots on Entourage or Tony and Sil sipping wine on Sopranos, any time I peep a show On Demand or on DVD, I get the urge to drink.

It just makes you think how much alcohol is prevalent in a social context. A few weeks ago I was talking with the Blogfathers about this. We wanted to kill an hour or so before a movie and really didn't feel like drinking (shocking I know). But besides going to get a beer or walking around the mall, what else can you do?? Well we ended up getting a cup of coffee, aka the adult way of socializing. Coffee or beer -- that's all you can do when you're meeting someone to catch up or kill time.

-Is there a difference between a Sun Roof and a Moon Roof? Is there a difference in the type of roof window on your car, or is it just a different way for people to refer to it? Like is a happy optimist calling that thing a Sun Roof and brooding pessimist calling it a Moon Roof? Or is there actually a technical difference between the two? I need to knowwww..

-The dentist is awfully like the auto body to me. They can just make up whatever they want. Because, honestly, who the hell knows? I love the old Seinfeld joke that you can't argue with the mechanic:

"Oh, looks like you need a new Johnson rod, here."
"Oh cool, yea, a Johnson rod. Sure."

Because who are you to say otherwise? And most of the time you just want to get whatever is wrong fixed and get it over with. Same thing with the dentist. You dread going. You know there is a 0-10% chance of you actually leaving there with good to decent news and you're praying you don't get too porked. The mechanic tells you that you need to fix an old belt. The dentist said you have a few "soft spots" that need to be fixed. Sure. You can pry around yourself and take a look. But in both cases, you probably don't even know what you're looking for and even if you did, you wouldn't know what to do when you found it.

--Nick

Music Monday Part 1

Oh yes let's get into it....Fresh out and off the upcoming Blueprint 3

Jay-Z feat. Drake - "Off that"
Honestly I hope you all get to here this song today...because it will probably be off of youtube by this evening.


Birdman feat. Lil Wayne and Drake - "Money to Blow"
Drake is really growing on me....especially when he uses Rufio in a rhyme


Part 2 later.

-JPerk

Avatar

The trailer for the much-anticipated Avatar came out yesterday. This movie has been in the works for forever. I'm pretty sure the budget is close to $300 mill too.

Prob won't even be good, right? It's only James Cameron's first feature film since Titanic. A sci-fi movie with Best Picture implications?? Count this man in.

Sam Worthington -- the half-machine from the last Terminator -- is the star.

Summary from IMDB: "Jake Sully (Worthington) is a a paraplegic war veteran who is brought to the planet Pandora to participate in a program designed to help him walk again. The program introduces him to his avatar, a creature whose genetics are half human and half Na'vi, a sentient humanoid race who inhabit Pandora. In time, Jake will find himself in the middle of an escalating conflict between the two races."

This picture leaves me with 2 very important questions....

1. Is Lindsay Lohan still fire? I mean I know this might not be a great picture but LL definitely isn't wearing a bra here and it looks like those things are still in good shape. Not sure she has her best fastball here, but she may still be in the 90's.

2. What F*cking planet are the two dudes behind her from? Especiallyyy the one directly behind her with the weird shirt and glasses that the black dude from Star Trek TV show used to wear.....what a mutant. Seriously Bro are you wearking some sort of f*king cape or something??? Get a clue.




-J Perk

I Give Up On Favre

Sorry Perk but I am switching to the dark side. Favre is such a cheeseball drama queen that I cannot stand behind him anymore. Look, you want to make 10 million, I cant hate on that. But to string it out like this and leave people hanging is self absorbed. I love the way Favre plays the game but he looks like a fool these days. This press conference sealed the deal for me. Go to the 1 minute mark for the corniest story of all time. His daughter was crying when the news broke and told him "Daddy, I always wanted you to go back and win one more Superbowl". Yea OK Brett. Tone it down bro. You know that scenario existed only in your mind.

It's Friday

And yet I still have to work. Sadly my Summer days are over and I am back to being a work slave at the U for one last year before I decide to become a grown-up and get a real job. Working on Friday's, especially into the night like I have to do are so depressing aren't they? I'd rather have someone dropkick me in the balls...but anyways here are my thoughts for this fine Friday morning.

Where the HELL has Erin Andrews been??? Am I not watching enough TV or something or is she just not around that much since the whole peep hole thing. Erin, I don't know if you pay attention to how the celebrity world works but once your sex tape or peep hole tape comes out your supposed to be right in the public eye so you can boost your career. I thought that was known fact....once this blog goes big time I'm going to leak 3 sextapes AND a peep hole video. Stay tuned ladies... ;-)

Here is a nice Katy Perry remix to Waking up In Vegas which I posted a few weeks ago...dedicated to Brett Favre. Williams' BOYYYYYY.


OK yah I know it's not Katy Perry.....but this picture below is. She looks...Uhm...SMART.

That's all for now everyone...enjoy your weekend ya bunch of broke ass biiiiitches.

-J Perk

Cat Fight

Thats Not In The Playbook, But It Should Be

-Oh my god Williams. Power Rangers were enorm. The only thing I really have to add to it is that I think everyone loved "playing" power rangers too. Ninja Turtles were getting a little long in the tooth when Rangers came out (I was 7-10 when the mighty morphin show was airing) so it gave us that ninja fix that I think exists somewhere inside every little kid. When you "played" Power Rangers or Ninja Turtles, you probably didnt realize it, but which character you were, and were allowed to be, established your place in the pack. The leader of your group of friends was always Leonardo, the brains of the operation got to be Donatello. The goofball was Michaelangelo. The renegade was Raphael. Same thing with the Rangers. They had the leader (Red), the morale booster (Blue), bad guy turned good (Green), the girl (Pink), reserved/asian (Yellow), and the token black guy (Black).

-Madden came out with their Favre and Vick updated rosters. Vick is listed as a 73 rating and Favre is listed as an 82 overall. I guess Im OK with these. A little prison and legend bias is definitely working though.

-I was talking with Nick the other day about the Eagles. We just absolutely love what they are doing. Getting speed and athletes/weapons all over the place. Desean Jackson is a problem for defenses and they drafted explosive Jeremy Maclin to go with him. Westbrook is getting old so you draft the heir apparent in Shady McCoy, a 2nd round pick and a personal fav of mine. You pay McNabb and surround him with flash and swagger? Sounds like a plan. Throw Vick into the mix now and you can run wildcat or do anything ya want. Plus the defense is beastly. Its the video game corollary. Build a team like I would in a video game and sit back and enjoy cause you will win a lot and look good doing it. Chemistry might be a C- but the fans are going to come in droves and you'll sell jerseys.



-Plax getting 2 years seems a little stiff to me. That guy doesn't even have any priors. Def making an example out of him.

-Usain Bolt set the world record in the 200m today. Hes just too good, love him. I liked the way I heard some journalist describe him when he ran the 9.58 the other day. He said its like Bolt is from 30 or 40 years in the future. Like you know how every generation evolves a little and gets bigger faster stronger? Thats Bolt. Hes this 6'4 freak of nature from 2059.

-And since this is the Summer Of Mike, lets send you off with a little Jackson 5.

Thursday Throwback: Power Rangers

(Every Thursday WKFTB will bring you a throwback, something that reminds us of our late-80s-early-90s childhood. Today's edition: Power Rangers.).


Ho ho hooooooo. This is one of my favorite throwback editions yet. (Props to Balla on the idea.) Power Rangers were a global phenomenon that no one -- not even evil creatures grown to giant sizes -- could stop.

And I'm not talking about the later editions that we saw down the road -- in fact, the show is still around today, believe it or not. I'm talking about the original Might Morphin' Power Rangers.

Here's something to listen to as you read. Go Go Power Rangers!



The show, the toys, the movies were all huge. People would get in line around Christmas time for the release of these puppies. Not since Tickle Me Elmo, was there a rush and chaos of this magnitude for toys. And by the way, what the FACCCCKKK was the fascination with Tickle Me Elmo? Are you effn kiddin me? It's a stuffed animal that giggled when you touched it. Nothing revolutionary at all. Wasn't nearly as good as mine -- the Lick Me Elmo. (Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.)

Anyway, pretty sure my mom almost got trampled fighting with other bitch moms for the ultimate prize: the Megazord, aka the top toy of our generation. Thanks mom.

The toys all originated from the characters on the show, which was like a Japanese ninja show that combined Saved By the Bell with Ninja Turtles and added technology. Truly strange. The five "teens" rocked in colored ninja suits and had corresponding zords they could call on for backup. The zords were all dinosaurs, which is lol worth. T-Rex, Triceratops, Pterodactyl, Sabertooth Tiger and the Mastodon. Woooo.

Let's take a quick look at these peeps:

Couple very underrated things:
1)How ill is it that the people wore colored clothes corresponding to the color ranger they were?
2) The Yellow Ranger is ASIAN and the black ranger is BLACK. See, before everyone was all PC, you could pull this crap.
3) The Pink Ranger was a secret babe. And they made her dumb as shit, like the first time they morph and everyone says something witty as they get into their zords and she says "Sweet radio!" I also remember when the talking ranger toys came out and one of her sayings was "Totally styling!!" Again, you have to cherish the non-PC world. I truly miss it.

The dude in the middle of the above pic is Tommy, the Green Ranger, and obviously the illest one. Sucha bad ass hearthrob, Tommy was a bad guy to start (which is prolly why I sweated him) before changing to a good guy and becoming the bitchy, yet powerful, White Ranger.

Tommy also rocked the Dragonzord. C'mon with these things:

The show was either dudes in redic suits fighting in mini hand-made cities to look giant size or shots of actual toys speeding to the rescue. I honestly think that's why the toys were so successful -- they looked exactly the same as the things on the show. Well, that and they were a series of toys that could connect and form a mega toy. Can't argue with that.

Looking at the videos though, budget must have been low on this thing. Someone the corniness didn't resonate with me back then.

All the individual dino zords were dece, but Oh God, don't EVER make them call upon the MegaZord:



Here's a lil compilation at all the different combos that came about, including the vaunted Mega-Dragonzord which was a combo between the two:

I really can't get over some of this stuff. The toys were out of this world. The show has unintentional comedy that rises to levels never seen. The song is still incred. In fact, it may be stuck in your head the rest of the day.

This took me down memory lane. I could go on and on about these guys. How the puddy were just worse Foot Soilders, the dubbed English on everyone, etc etc. I also had younger brothers and sisters, so Power Rangers stayed in my life a little longer than I wanted (or was it?).

--Nick

Thursday Deal

This Thursday I decided to put something up for the guys to freshen up their kicks before they start a new year of school/work/being ill. I realize that what I think is fresh may not be the same as what you think is fresh, but all white Jordans are a can't miss in my book.

Jordan Men's PHLY Legend Premier Basketball Shoe - $59.99
(Also have white and carolina blue aka UNC colors, as well as grey and navy blue aka Georgetown colors for $49.99).

Click HERE to grab them. OR, if you are looking for the other two colors click HERE.

I really am kind of depressed at the lack of comments we've been getting. I know it has been a LITTLE slow for the last couple of weeks but shiiiiiit people have fallen off. As always if you have anything to say either positive or negative just leave it. We are here for you people, not the other way around, so let us know how to entertain you better. So cut the shit and start commenting or I will stop posting and let Nick take over the blog, and no one wants that.

-J Perk

Dece HORSE Shot?

Not even sure how this is real:



Wayoooo

January Jones

(Just a little aside before we start: Thanks for all the good feedback for the Suck It post...just wish you a-holes commented!)

January Jones is the actress who plays Don Draper's wife in Mad Men, the popular AMC show that I finally just started watching thanks to Jared. Mad Men is as hot as it gets right now after True Blood. When shows gain steam like that, I just can't stay away. Need to see what all the fuss is about.

And as good as the show is, I've become more captivated with January. She's a little slice of Heaven in the show:

Whether she's playing the old-fashioned housewife leaving plenty to the imagination, or showing off in the risque Maxim and GQ photos below, January is voluptuous dream angel.

Seriously this is the convo I had with Jared yesterday when he walked into my room and saw I had the pic below as my desktop:

"Falling in love with January Jones already?"

"Yea, dude, she's my fav right now."

"You see her sex tape??"

((Most incredulous, agape face of all time)) "..what??"

"Haha, nah just kiddin."

Another underrated thing I was thinking of is how immediately hot are girls with months as first names. I'm saying 90% of the time it's a hot chick. You got January, August, June, October...anything except for April really. If I have a daughter, never naming that thing a month cause she would def be slaaauutttyyy.

--Nick

The Art of a Perfect Suck It

As avid readers of WKFTB know, we are so innately juvenile and ridiculous that "Suck It" has fully reemerged in both our actions and lexicon. We are, as the videos we posted suggest, fully involved in bringing back Suck It.

I know you are asking yourself: "But, Nick, how can I help the cause?"

Well the first thing you can do is perfect the art of a Suck It. We don't need anyone going out there with poor mechanics, embarrassing themselves and ruining the reputations of those of us who take the movement seriously.

So, without further adieu, WKFTB brings you some helpful hints on how to execute a good Suck It. Because without proper technique, you really have nothing.


1). It's All in the Hips. Think about it. The basic nature of the action is sexual; after all you are telling people to "suck" it. A proper suck it should consist of a hip thrust forward coinciding with whatever chop method you opted to use. Just look at the hip motion of some of the founders of the move, D-Generation X. Particularly look at the :34 and :46 marks of the clip:





2). Sound Matters. No, you don't have to verbally blast someone with the words suck it. When we talk about sound we are referring to the noise a swift crotch chop emits when it hits the proper piece of clothing. See a great "suck it" is heard as much as it is seen. I can hear a good suck it from about a mile away. Articles that are acoustically friendly for suck its include but are not limited to blue jeans, tight shorts and a huge gortex bubble coat. Take a look at the Suck It Mixtape below to see what I mean:




3). Don't Be Shy. Feel free to blap anyone with a suck it. Whether it's the girl at the bar who refused your offer of a drink, a cabbie who sped by and didn't pick you up or an innocent couple strolling the city streets, it's all gravy, baby. Because there's no worse feeling then going home, spending your night tormented by regret and wondering what could have been had you just tossed a suck it at that dude in the mall. You should blap anyone and everyone, but at the same time...



4.) ...Don't Be Too Cocky. If I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousands times. Someone is on a suck it roll, feeling real good about themselves and they lose focus. They are blapping everybody out of control. What's the danger in that? I'll tell you the effing danger -- you could run into a legend, someone with Yoda-like suck it abilities. Sure you can give them an X suck it or a Tomahawk, but they'll get you with bigger and better moves like the Macerena Suck It or Suck It in the Air. Please, I beg you, do not be the person who cockily drops a suck it only to find out too late that their vastly over matched and are forced to leave with their tail between their legs. Cause you'll look like a God Damn fool.


5). Stay Within Your Boundaries. Does David Ortiz try to steal second the very few times he gets on base? Was Matt Cassel throwing deep his first couple games at the helm? Did Adam Lambert show just how gay he was during his first Idol auditions? No No and No. That's because they all stayed within their boundaries. And you should too. Don't be trying to throw out legend moves like the Hand of God or the Charlie Daniels if you can't properly execute them. Stick with what works. The standard crotch chop or the "X over." It's still gold. Then you can work your way up to the Barrel Roll or the Pitching Machine. It's important to know who you are in the Suck It community, just like it is in the business scene.


6). Always Be Prepared. Make your your clothing is primped and prepared, your moves are practiced and fresh in your head and you know exactly what you're getting into beforehand. Take a look at everything after the 3:20 mark to see just what I mean:



--Nick

A tribute to....Minka Kelly

First of all I want to apologize to all of you for not posting yesterday. I saw on the news that there were riots all over the nation from Boston to Birmingham after seeing there was no post from the kid on WKFTB....I've been back to work at the U and just haven't been myself. But do not worry, the kid is back.

So there are two really important things you need to know about Minka Kelly....well 3 now that I think of it:

1. She's incredibly sexy
2. She's dating my man crush Derek Jeter
3. She is on one of the best / most underrated shows on TV, Friday Night Lights.
I know that a lot of you are probably still reeling from the fact that I said Derek Jeter was a man crush of mine...and that's fine because I don't expect you to respect it. But can you at least respect the fact that Jeter has crushed the likes of Minka, Jessica Alba, Kate Hudson, Jessica Biel and many more. In fact, to check out a great link of a photo journal of all of Jeter's babes click HERE. It's a little old, but still worth it. So I guess this has really become more of a tribute to Jeter, and I know a lot of you will hate that...but as the saying goes, don't hate the player, hate the game.

I love Minka Kelly, and if any of you gave Friday Night Lights a shot I'm sure you would love her just as much as I do. She is the smart, sexy, cheer captain that we all dreamed of in High School. Of course much like in HS a girl like this would be far out of our range, but it's still nice to dream. Keep doing ya think Minka, we love ya at WKFTB.


-J Perk

Dont Sleep On Cash Money

As Perk said, Cash Money just signed Omarion. Then Hall commented on the post with Lil Bow Wow, or Bow Wow, also signed to Cash Money..aka Young Money... Drake, Weezy, Bow Wow, Omarion....guess they want to sign every young ill musicain..Chris Breezy next????..he just did fill in on tour for the injured Drake....is Weezy starting the next dynasty? And dont forget Jay Sean, who is enormous in the UK and just now blowing up in the states.

I was reminded of this show I saw a few months ago that impressed and stuck with me. Bryan and Slim Williams are no joke. They founded Cash Money 18 years ago and have made hundreds of millions. It seems like they are only going to grow further with the new acquisitions. Weezy is obviously the golden child but Birdman/Slim are at the top of that food chain. Watch this interview. (Imagine that Birdman lost 20 houses and 50 cars in Katrina, hoooo.)

Night cap to Music Monday....

Thank you for taking care of 2.0 Kate...that Mickey Factz song was ill. On my ride home today from work I was listening to some old CDs that I had laying around and found a gem. My college roomate Danhof was all about the night caps....what I would try to tell him was that if you drink 6 OJ/Vodka's it's not a night cap, that it was actually getting drunk....anyways this song is fiyyyahhhh. 2 of my favorites to ever hear on a remix.....and Busta.

BoneCrusher feat. Busta, Cam'ron, and Jadakiss - "Never Scared REMIIIXX"

See y'all tomorrow.

-J Perk

Music Monday 2.0

Jake has to "work", so let me try this one more time...

Wale, My Sweetie.

Shwayze, Get U Home. Shwayze always stirs up the summertime carelessness and restlessness in me. And the vid reminds me of all the hipsters I encountered in Queens, NY this past Saturday...they were so scene.

Mickey Factz, Rocker. ... growing on me.

Music Monday Part 1

So I have to be honest with all of you and say that I have been kind of dissapointed in the qaulity of music that I have been hearing lately. Maybe it's because today is my first day back at work here at the U so I'm a little depressed...or maybe music has just been whack lately. Regardless...let's get to the music.

The Game feat. Ludacriss - "Pussy Monsters"


Haven't put any Lil Wayne up in a few weeks...when I saw that he had a few songs up in the past week I figured there would be at least one bangaaaa. This was the closest to one on there, it's not bad, but only a minute long. And BTW if you didn't know...Omarion has been signed to Young Money...don't know how or why.

Lil Wayne ft. Omarion - "I get it in"


See ya lata for part 2.

Marty is a chooch.

-J Perk

Tribute to...Usain Bolt

I believe we all love him at WKFTB, but we've just never given him his proper due. Usain Bolt officially solidified it at yesterday's championships in Berlin: he's a beasssstttttt.

Bolt set the world record in the 100m during last summer's Olympics. But he was known more for the fire showboating after than for setting the record. Let's take a looksee. For some reason -- because Olympic footage is guarded like military documents -- I could only find this tape of it with weird ass jungle music:



Of course, one of the reasons why I love Bolt is because of the showboating. I love that he pimps it for the cameras after (and sometimes during) the race. He's developed his own variation of the Hulk Hogan point and flex stance.

Everyone wondered after how fast the aptly named Bolt could have gone if he didn't swing his arms out and chest thump during the last 10 meters. Scientists even did simulations, and came up with a number of 9.56. Turns out it was 9.58.

Running right next to American and chief rival Tyson Gay, Bolt showed him what the deal was. I like Tyson Gay because he's and American and I want to show him the support and all, but let's be honest, he's nothing compared to Usain. Usain is Insane. He's a beast. Anyone who though Bolt would lose to Gay...you're an idiot.

Look at this (watch at 1:35 for the Hulk Hogan celebration too):



See the :45 second mark to find just where Bolt got his celebration from:



If you like sports, then speed is probably one of your favorite things. It's like the blond hair of the sports world. Sure, you don't need it to be awesome, but it certainly makes people enamoured with you.

Usain Bolt, he's a lil pat on the back from WKFTB.

--Nick

The Bank Job II, I'm Calling it.

Well...the Jewel Job, really. Last week, two seemingly stupid robbers looked right into the surveillance camera (shit, I'm not even dumb enough to do that), unseemingly brilliant because they actually pulled a Mrs. Doubtfire. Not to mention, only Brits would dress in suits to commit a crime, wankers.

$66M in jewels right now...where are they? Not legal tender so prob watching the news in their london flat laughing there asses off? My heros.

Happy Friday, if this isn't inspiration than I've got nothing for you.

Just some friday rambling....

Friday's are the best. They are a little less awesome when you wake up hungover and naked thinking you are late for work and then realize you don't have work and are retarded though...but anyways. Here are some things of interest.

Female MMA fighter Gina Carano is going to pose naked in Playboy Yeah big shocker here....if you can't get paid for beating on other girls why not just take your clothes off for Hef??? I don't even know if I think this chick is hot.....I mean she is hot FOR A FEMALE MMA fighter, but not in the traditional sense. Ya gotta trust Hef though, he knows how to sell naked women. Here she is below....

Hey remember when Nelly was so illll???? When I get bored I like to try and find some of my older mixed CDs that I made when I was still in HS, or early college. I came across one today with tons of Nelly on it and it was incredible. He kinda fell off the face of the earth and stopped making hits...but I'm pretty sure this is still in the top 5 songs I want to hear while working out.


And of course don't forget one of his first hits....

He was so illllllllll.

Enjoy your Friday everyone.

-J Perk

Bashful Squirrel

So cute right?

Links

-Science Behind One Night Stands (Guys are incred risky rlol)

-Pirates In English Channel (Whole cargo ship vanished?!? woooo)

-RI Battles Prostitution (Anyone tryin to hit Provi this wknd? Seriously though wtf?)

Thursday Throwback: Goosebumps Books

(Every Thursday WKFTB will bring you a throwback, something that reminds us of our late-80s-early-90s childhood. Today's edition: Goosebumps books.).

In the words of Eric Cartman: "awwwww sccarrryyyyy."

Goosebumps books were the choice of literature for any middle schooler my age who didn't want to read something real and enjoyed scary shit. R.L. Stine must have made a killing off these things. Because I'm pretty sure they had about 354,459745 different versions.

The covers were always badass and the writing was simple but effective. I cannot remember if they were actually scary or not. I'm guessing yes, but I wouldn't be surprised if no.

Call me a chooch if you want, but I loved the Scholastic book fairs we had in EB middle school. Used to load up on these books (plus MJ and Gretsky biographies and random posters and ish of Patrick Roy, Lemeuix, etc.) Plus because there were books, mom couldn't say no. Write that check, cause the kid needs some new gems from the Stinester.

I have no idea where all mine ended up. Maybe I still

have them somewhere at my old house. I do know my favorite one though, and it was the Lawn Gnomes (see right). Nothing scarier or funnier than some animated crit things coming after you. Woo.

And please don't even get me started on the vaunted "Choose your own endings" version of Goosebumps. I'm pretty sure those alone extended the shelf life of these things for at least another 3 years.

Sometimes you'd get pwned and end up killing yourself or doing something crazy by choosing a wrong step. Then you would most likely cheat and go back and choose the other option which was always awesome. Unless you made a wrong choose two chances ago, in which point you were F'd.

And those of us who were lazy could even justify stopping right there because technically, we did finish the book.

I hope there are others out there who enjoyed Goosebumps. Lemme know...

--Nick