A Dance Lesson

Never say I never gave you anything. With the exception of the Stanky Leg, which I'm sure is in his vast repertoire of moves/gyrations, this man does it all. He gets down, that's all I'm saying. If I knew this guy on a personal level, like say he was my uncle or brother...he would definitely be my anti-drug...but since there is no such relation, I just have to respect his zest for interpretative dance. Does his back-up dancer add to the performance? I want to say definitely, maybe. and lastly, Don't do Meth, kids.

"If you won't listen to my words, then listen to my dancing feet." K. Powers

Cpl Vids

A few ill vids that need to be shared.

Roddick's Serves vs. Radio DJ
Last week's SI mentioned this battle and said it was on YouTube. Andy Roddick holds the Guiness record for fastest tennis serve in the world. Bobby Bones is a radio DJ who is boys with Roddick. After telling Roddick that returning a serve isn't that hard, A-Rod challaneged him to try to return any of 10. Hohoo Roddick taunts him telling him "that one was just 95" even though he can ched it in at 145.

FF to 2:45 if you want to just watch the serves and at the very minimum check out 7:30 to see him almost get shuffled.


Wedding Entrance
With over 18 million views now, 90% of the people reading this have prob seen the video of the entire wedding party entering the church to Chris Brown's Forever. But for that other 10%...enjoy:


--Nick

Will This Be the Greatest Drink of All Time??

OK, so as word quickly circulates and a buzz builds around the Internet, we all are anxious;y awaiting the first batch of Tru Blood, the drink based on the drink used in the smash HBO drama, True Blood.

Just like Billy Compton, I cannot wait to delve into a bottle of this delectable indulgence. Basically, it's a sweet and tart balanced carbonated orange drink with tons (50 mg) of caffeine, an early theory being that the makers want it to give you a jolt like you'd get drinking the real stuff. (Sounds ridiculous typing, but my True Blood lovers out there know what's good.)

New York Magazine -- seriously -- did some taste tests on it. Here are some of the things they said:

-"The grossest thing about Tru Blood is its name. The drink itself is fizzy, tangy, surprisingly drinkable. Some sorority girl is going to love mixing it with her double-vodka Red Bull."

-"Compared to most soft drinks, it's refreshing and not too sweet. It also foams just like real blood. Ultimately, though, I prefer the stuff when it comes from Jesus."

-"It's kind of got an orange-Hi-C-mixed-with-Sprite kind of taste going for it. Not as good as Ecto-Cooler, but then again, what is?"

You can order the stuff online already through HBO. It's $16 for a 4-pack and $96 for a 24-pack, which makes about zero sense because there is no discount at all. Apparently they must think this stuff is going to fly off the selves. Prolly will. It's marketing genius actually. It's the apex of the show's hype right now and just watching the show, you are always intrigued by it and would love to be ill and try it, especially if they make the bottle look absolutely the same. You say corny, I say illy.

I'll scoop some for sure; might wait until it comes out in stores though and place a 4 pack on the counter and flash the clerk a sinister glare as I lick my lips. Bahahahaha. Should be good for endless jokes, no? This is my girlfriend and I trying it out this weekend:

And as any good consumer should, people have already done experiments to determine how to incorporate Tru Blood with alcohol.

Slashfood.com did a little work and came up with 3 possibilities, although only the absinthe mix, something called the Dutch Blood, seems feasible.

I though this Budweiser parody was sweet:



This will be me at the bar on September 9:



--Nick

Seriously are these real?

These videos are honestly killing me right now. I have a feeling that I might be the only one finding them funny, but I really don't care.

Does everyone think these are real? I kinda feel bad even laughing at them because I think I'm making fun of this poor 16 year old pimple faced pyscho. If I have a kid that even starts to act like this I'm taking him out back with a shotgun.



There's really so many things that make me laugh in this video....his terrible voice, his orange pants again, his ill line to his brother "god you have a boner for that camera," and the best part is of course the little brothers laugh as he films the whole thing. It's so F*ing good really. If it is fake it's comedic genius on the part of these two kids....I want them on the blog now.

Someone find out if its real.


-J Perk

Seriously Nick...stop flipping out and stealing dad's guitar

Nick has been really moody and out of control lately. Can you guys please start commenting on his blog posts. If not I really don't see these horrible moods of his ending.





-J Perk

This is actual footage of Nick.

This is footage from the last time Nick's dad told him that it was time for him to move out of his basement....luckily someone was there to catch his reaction. As usual Nick handles it like a big baby.



Shocking I know.

I actually stole this off of Joe Lauzon's facebook page...so if your reading this Joe you should be ashamed of yourself for not telling me to blog about this.


-J Perk

One last song....

Just because I've been trying so hard to force Chamillionare down your throat for months now.....here is the end to today's music Monday.

Chamillionaire - "Best She Ever Had"


Hope you enjoyed your music Monday.


-J Perk

Rumbled in the Bronx

Eek. Ugh. Fack. Good God. Eww. Icky. Gay. What theee...Coool. Shitty. Gross. Just completely and utterly horrendous (in the Simon Cowell voice).

These are just a few of the words that venture into my mind when I hear the words 'Boston Red Sox.'

The Boston 9 returned to Massachusetts in the wee hours of the morning, just in time to catch the early editions of the local papers, which predictably have begun to draw comparison between this edition of Sox to the 2006 crew, which was in first place for the beginning of the year before a 5-game massacre at the hands of the Yankees caused a cataclysmic second-half flameout.

But instead of just clamoring for Theo's head or jumping off the Tobin, let's try to identify just what has gone wrong here:

1) Cheapskates. First and foremost, this problem originated long before the games were even played. Only unidentifiable to the non-Kool-Aid drinkers and plain blue-hatted fans, the die hard recognized this team was acting different than most. Instead of making sincere efforts for game changing pitchers C.C. Sabathia and A.J Burnett and middle-of-the-lineup thumper Mark Texeira, what we got instead was a thinly veiled guise of contract negotiations which ended in the Plan B, Cs and Ds of the world in Brad Penny, John Smoltz and Rocco Baldelli. With Smoltz designated for assignment, Penny pitching as poorly as ever and Baldelli on his second DL stint, this plan has worked out as well as the Big Dig.

The smackdown New York laid in the Bronx this weekend was Exhibit A of the teams' varying off season strategies. As Burnett and Sabathia combined to shut the Sox out for two straight games, and Mark Texeira blasted a game-winning home run on Sunday, we had Smoltz released DURING the series, the rotation altered to avoid a Brad Penny sighting and Rocco Baldelli somewhere in an ice bath. True, you don't need to spend money to win. You know, unless you're in the same divisions and the Yankees and Tampa Bay. In which case, you most certainly do.

2) Shortstop. Sound familiar? Since Orlando Cabrera and his murky off the field issues went unpursued after the 2004 season, management has since struggled to find even an adequate solution at one of the game's most important positions. Edgar Renteria, Alex Gonzalez, Julio Lugo and Nick Green either couldn't hack it at the field or at the plate. Jed Lowrie is running out of excused too, although he can't seem to stay on the field long enough to prove anyone wrong or right.

What we are left with is a team so desperate to find consistency up the middle that they are considering making a play for the Nationals' Christian Guzman, who is hitting .315 this year after hitting .316 last season. Guzman is a good player, albeit a pricey one at 2-years, $16-million. Contrary to early reports yesterday, the Sox did NOT make a waiver claim for him. Instead if he clears waivers, look for the club to make a play for him then. I actually think this would be a terrific move, considering Guzman is good defensive player and would provide the Sox -- with Victor in the lineup at catcher -- with a deep and dynamic lineup (your 8 and 9 guys would probably be Drew and Guzman; not too shabby).

3. Heart. Do these Sox hav heart? It's tough to tell yet. One of the primary reasons why Billy Beane's Moneyball teams of the early 2000s never won anything was because they never had that swagger, that leadership, that mojo, that it that championship clubs have. The Sox of 2004 had it. Hell, they were swigging Jack before games doing high five dances and threatening to bean you if you touched on of their guys.

The squad I saw in New York got thrown at, smack talked and beaten into submission. Any team that doesn't score a run for 30+ innings has problems that run deeper than a lineup full of hurt or slumping players. I mean, to not be able to manufacture just one run is absurd.

Is the karma of being the only team in MLB without an African-American biting them back? Is the business0like approach too boring? No and No. The bigger problem? Teams are not assembled on paper. As much as strike-throwing pitchers high-OBP batters look good on paper, winning a championship is more than fine tuning some ideal machine. You need characters who will come through in the clutch or pick up the squad in moments of despair. Manny Ramirez did that. Derek Lowe did that better than anyone. David Ortiz used to do that. Can anyone on this team??

4. Middle of the Order. Has blogfather Jared pointed out to me last night: "What does it say about the Red Sox when you pick up Victor Martinez and he's immediately your 3 hitter? Guy would have hit fifth a few years ago."

Fewer truer words have been spoken. I love the Victor acquisition, especially considering that the Sox offer the moon and the stars for Adrien Gonzalez but were turned down. But the fact that an outsider comes in and is automatically your best hitter...just doesn't bode well for your chances at making a solid run.

The only parallels I'll accept between this team and the miserable team from 2006 is the absence of Ramirez. Manny wasn't here the last time the Sox failed to make the postseason. He quit that year. Three years later, with the Sox on the precipice of falling apart again, Manny is 3,000 miles away, this time after forcing his way out of town. Jason Bay was the solution for 2+ months last year. But with nagging injuries, a slumping bat and perhaps a, unsigned contract weighing over his head, he's been a shell of himself since mid-June.

This has been compounded by the recent news -- broken by a New York paper, no less -- that David Ortiz was on the list of players who failed a drug test in 2003. Not only has Ortiz hit under .200 since the story broke, he's been noticeably somber and sullen, his face more lifeless than Bill Compton. When the Sox were smashing bombs and winning titles, it was with Ortiz and Manny doing their impression of Ruth and DiMaggio. Looking across the dugout this weekend, as Texeira and A-Rod pumped bombs and smacked double high fives, one couldn't help but be jealous at what the Yanks now have -- the best 3-4 combo in all of baseball.

After dropping 6 games against Tampa and New York this weekend, we should know a lot more about these 4 issues by this time next week. C'mon, Sox. NFL is too far away for this...

---Nick

Music Monday 1.5

I hope all of you liked Kate's version of Music Monday. Her style is a little different from mine so I think its good to mix it up at times....

Cam'ron feat. Vado and Charlie Clipse - "Always Strapped REMIX"
Hey Cam kills beats like these....who even knows who these other dudes are, just listen to Cam.


And a little something different.....

Cobra Starship feat. B.O.B. - "The World Will Never Do"
Don't know why but I'm feeling this and really feeling BOB on this one.



-J Perk

It's Just Another Music Monday.

I'm sure you would recognize the superior taste in music regardless, but I was given explicit instructions to identify myself (Kate) prior to posting Part 1 of Music Monday. So, here I go. If you can't pick up what I'm putting down, at least feel bad for me...I'm in a cubicle, guys.

Flashback Jack Splash Feat. Lupe Fiasco I like Jack Splash, good producer and sounds like he could be the bastard lovechild of Prince and Andre 3000. Lupe Fiasco then brings up the stock x10...at 2:00.



Gobstoppers XV Feat. Wiz Khalifa You can't not like Gobstoppers, that would be UnAmerican.



Cooler Than Me Mike Posner Feat. Big Sean Since I have your undivided attention I figured I'd push more Mike Posner into your ears.



Part 2 later.

-Kate, formally known as "The Best Girl Blogger on this Blog"