For those of you that don't know the answer to that question...allow me to tell you. For the past few summers Nick and I have worked at a Special Education camp at Brockton High. It is probably one of the best jobs I have ever had, and I consider myself to be very close friends with the kids that I teach at the camp. I know that you are going to look at these pictures and judge me and Nick and think that we are bad examples, or that we make fun of them or something....but before you do that please realize that we are some of these kids closest friends. We have taught them how to add, subtract, and be ill.
Me and My Son. So while all the rest of you have been sitting around in an office all summer crunching numbers, me and Nick have been molding the future of our youth and teaching them to DX crotch chop. I honestly wake up everyday and look forward to my job...and from the looks of Nick so does he. Nick and DX So once again...I ask you not to judge these pictures. It's just a couple of the guys having a good time in between learning. You probably all think we are such bad examples because we jokingly do the DX chop, or because I'm posting these pictures on the blog (which I probably shouldn't be), but if you went in there and asked who the best counselors/teachers assistants were, it would be dudes like me and Nick. I invite you all to come and visit us...next week is the last week....get at the kid and come meet the BEST KIDS EVAAAAAAAAA.
(Every Thursday WKFTB will bring you a throwback, something that reminds us of our late-80s-early-90s childhood. Today's edition: GI Joes.).
First off, I think I've now done about 10 of these Thursday Throwbacks, and this is like the third that's actually come out on Friday. That's a pretty shitty ratio and clearly epitomizes my affinity for partying, as I went to yet another concert yesterday. Party. Woo.
Anyway, I figured this throwback was very apt considering the release of the new movie today. But it's not the movie, I'm talking about today, it's the ill action figures and the unreal cartoon. Remember these guys:
Equipped with the best weapons -- rocket launchers! -- and lathered with mustaches, muscles and angry eyebrows to make them look badass, these action figures were the bomb (oooh throwback word in a throwback post?!?!). I know I'm going way back here, but I played with tons of these things when I was a young'n.
The good guys always had sweat power weapons, but I kind of sweated the bad guys, were always shift characters like ninjas and scuba guys and stuff. I don't even remembering armies fighting Ninja hordes, but GI Joe did it anyway. The bad guys were even called Cobra and wore red masks over their faces.
And I'm not sure how many dudes out there remember this, but fi you do, I'm about to blow your mind. The GI Headquarters, one of the most dynamic toy bases in the history of play time lore:
God damn, this puppy was decked out with missile launchers, sirens, sound effect and a mother-f'n search light! It was unbeatable. It folded up into "battle mode" and unfolded when you wanted the full, sprawling effect of a fully functional good-guy lair. It even had targets you could hit with enemy fire that would cause something to explode or fall apart. I remember one was that orange barrel to the right. Blap that sucker and the door to the jail explodes, freeing all the CObra scum you had worked so hard to round up. Why place an explosive barrel right near a sensitive area of your fortress? GI Joe was clearly a victim of poor layout.
Anyway, I can't tell you how much money my dad must have spent on things like the GI Joe headquarters, but it must have been worth it. These toys would kill an entire Sunday, where I could just keep to myself and blow stuff up while he chilled or relaxed. (now that I'm older, prob recovering from a hangover, woo).
But as cool as the toys were, NOTHING compared to the corny cartoon that ran every weekday morning. I remember getting up mad early before elementary school to peep this. "GI JOE, reall American heerrooooo." Yahhh.
It was tough to have a war cartoon were no one ever died, but hey, the A-Team did it for years, and I'm pretty sure that was an adult show. In GI Joe, the only things that got bundled were the vehicles, from which every character luckily escaped before it exploded. Pheww.
And do you remember the PSA's at the end of each 'sode? This, in fact, may be GI Joe's lasting legacy and I hope to see one at the end of the movie because, you know, knowing is half the battle.
I mean, how else would I learn to not rush into a shaky tree house?
I mean, how can you not LOL at this:
Wowie, I should have done a whole post on this. Look at this shit:
There are literally hundreds of these. I could spend all day watching them, but I'll just give you one more:
Hey everybodyyyyyy. I gotta be honest this weeks deal is very small in nature but let me tell you if you don't use and FM transmitter for you ipod in your car, your making a huge mistake. So here is a cheap little fix for ya...just plug this little baby into your cars power supply, put on the radio and listn to your POD BRO.
Car MP3 Player FM Transmitter with SD Slot and IR Remote - $9.99 Click HERE to grab this little treat.
Also, I just want to apologize to you all about the blog. I know recently we have not been pumping out posts like we have been all Summer. Eventually partying and working catches up to us all. But I promise you that we will be back on track very soon....right now its really up to The Kid (me) to be on here entertaining all of you while working my stressful job and partying daily, and I gotta be honest, its no easy task. So just hang in there, and throw us a god damn comment or two to keep us going.
Face it ladies and gentleman....a good sense of humor is sexy. It's what turns the 7's of the world into 8.5's. Or looking at it from the other end, it's what makes a girl that is a 9 more like a 7. Oh really hot girl, your not going to laugh at my jokes or bother to tell any of your own? Yeah your too good for humor?
Anyways...my main point is that while Leslie Mann may not be as dynamic as some of my other tribute's in terms of looks, I still think she is killing it. Girls that are both attractive and funny are very rare...they're like finding Nick and I not blackout on a Friday night in Boston. So when YOUR Leslie Mann comes along in your life fellas, make sure you hold on to them. And by the way....if you are a guy/girl reading this saying "oh man this kid is so wrong and stupid and probably is just saying that personality matters becaues he's ugly," then I say this....while you may be right and I may in fact be ugly, BUT please refer to the picture below in which you see the lovely Leslie with her husband and famous movie producer Judd Apatow who looks like a hairy foot. Personality works people....the kid is right.
Keep being funny Leslie....and do yourself a favor and stay out of any of your hubbies movies that have similar plots to Funny People, because that thing sackkkkked. -J Perk
Yup, a tribute to UFC president and part-time owner Dana White. Say what you wank about White -- he's an idiot, outspoken, over-the-top, etc. -- but this guy aced it.
He was a normal dude, born in Connecticut actually, he lived in Boston and Maine and is an avid Red Sox fan. He didn't finish college, but he started a boxing program for inner-city kids, made some friends in the right places and just took off from there. He told his childhood friends who had dough about this startup company called UFC, and they bought it and made him the prez.
What did he do since? Only made it the biggest MMA organization in the world, one that is constantly growing and slowly creeping more and more into the mainstream (UFC highlights on SportsCenter??).
But the real reason why he needs a tribute: he does and says whatever he wants. He's the president of a multi-million dollar enterprise, but he still carries himself like he's on the street. Swears tons, calls people f*gs, rips employees and former employees and calls out people he feels deserve it. I, for one, love it. He's like a badass Mark Cuban (who I also like), very hands on, outspoken and has no fear of verbally facing off with anyone. He has a view and you better be in line with it. And who can doubt him? Cause the F'n guy is a success.
He's a savvy businessman and a sweet promoter. Don't doubt him. He'll ace you, for real. Let's just look at his recent comments about former Affliction heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko, who, after Affiliation folded, signed with Strikeforce once talks broke down with UFC. This is what Dana had to say:
"Fedor is a f---ing joke," UFC President Dana White responded Monday after learning that Emelianenko had signed with Strikeforce. “He turns down a huge deal and the opportunity to face the best in the world to fight nobodies for no money!"
"I feel sorry for the real fight fans. I wanted to make the deal, but it takes two and it is very obvious Fedor doesn't want to fight the best, and doesn't give a sh-t about the fans!"
Wooo. Imagine like David Stern doing that to a top baller who signed in Europe? UFC is getting more and more legit like a real sport now. It's like risky to still pop off like that. But Dana cares zero. And that's another real I like him. Because he cares less.
I like this little quick hit with him:
If you interview you him, you might get a lil gem like this:
This is him pwning a broad who sweats Tito Ortiz, who he's had BEEF with. He calls here Jenna Jameson (Tito's girl):
Watch at the 4 minute mark to see him battle Bill O'Reilly:
I actually think it burned holes through my esophagus, which actually explains my entire night thereafter which is good because I'm not accountable for myself at times. Also, word to the wise...if you ever order one and you're not with a huge group of stunner shade-wearing asians at a bar in Los Angeles, there is a 99.99999(repeating)% chance you'll sound like a drunk anime/pokemon nerd to the bartender...then they'll ask you what is in it, you'll forget that 151 isn't a vodka, but actually an over-proof rum...when they say they don't have 151 and you say, "Oh okay, well I guess your well vodka will do", you sound like a self-important douche bag that may or may not sleep at a T station later in the night.
Any way, Huge day today. Besides it being the 2nd day of "Shark Week" and my 3rd day sober it is also Barack Obama's Birthday. He's 48. He doesn't look a day older than 32...which is odd because if he is a socialist, like everyone claims he is, shouldn't his face be teeming with wrinkles and the everyday wear and tear of a hard-working proletariat? ...I mean he does drink Bud Light, which is the beer of the people...if he were truly liberal he would have chosen some microbrew from Vermont. Whatever, I watch too much Jon Stewart to even have a valid, unbiased opinion. But it's his birfday, so raise a Bud Light..the American (belgium?) Classic for our prez.
Below is a video of those Crazos trying to prove something about something that involves Obama not being eligible for presidency because he is a communist or idk. Also, I am stunned this women represents this "movement" in the court of law, she can't even convince me she speaks a lick of english or that she isn't a pre-op transvestite.
This actually might induce a migraine, so do what you want with it.
Kids on YouTube being exploited by their own parents for the amusement of pure strangers...Now, there's a movement growing exponentially. Almost as fast as the 35-50 year old women demographic subscribing to Facebook. All I can say about this little kid is I think he is cooler than his parents let on and I think he knows he's cooler.
Lastly, I have been forcing Mike Posner/Big Sean down people's throats this week, so you should download the miztape off of facebook, he's got a creepy-ish voice, but it works for him.
Just as Nick's post yesterday describes this past Friday night I took part in one of the greatest party events in EB party lure....I might go so far as to call it the most dynamic party of the 21st Century. Nick really came through with a great venue (I looked the word up, my diction is on fire) and everyone there made sure it was an ill time. The last memory that I really have from that night was at about 9-930pm when I was coming down the stairs from the roof and snapped a picture of blog contributor Balla...which may have been both of our last minutes of conciousness.
As I sit here though, now on the 4th day after the party I have to be completely honest and say that I really do not feel the same. My body still aches in several spots which most likely is the result of several blackout falls that I took, my already crundled knee feels like someone has been trying to wrench it out while ive been sleeping, and I am still waiting to puke.
This obviously brings me to the question...are 4 day hangovers really possible? Do I have alcohol poisoning? Am I just mentally depressed that the greatest party ever is now over and I have to continue on living my pathetic life with nothing to look forward to? These are all answers that I need to know.....and it is up to you my faithful blog readers....my bleaders if you will...to answer these for me.
What's the worst hangover you all have had? Please discuss.....
As most of you know, we threw the bash of the year this past Friday at the Baseball Tavern in Boston. Sure, the rain had me super nervous that no one would show up. After all, who wants to be on a roof deck in shitty weather? Maybe that's why I was drinking my face off early in the night.
Actually, who am I kiddin? I definitely would have done that even if it was 90 degrees and beautiful.
We ended up getting about over 100 people there I'd say, including plenty of ill dudes and hot chicks. Of course, maybe no one was there. It's risky to trust my memory.
And don't EVER say myself or the people I associate with don't party. Because like it or not -- and I love it -- all my friends get NICE. For some reason, I threw a huge bash, people would have a great time sober even, but almost everyone there got blacked out. Wooo. And I'm pretty sure a lot of people took diggers, puked and made a fool of themselves. In fact, a lot of this was going on (I cackle LOL'd at the 1:52 mark):
I couldn't find Jake most of the night, but ended up locating him in the upstairs bathroom:
Yes, that's the type of night we had. I believe someone actually woke up on a park bench in the middle of Boston and zombied in at the crack of dawn looking for a bed. BTW, how crazy is blacking out? It legit freaks me out. You drank so much, that your body is poisoned. Just filled with poison. And it's taken over you so much that although awake, you have zero memory or control. Basically just like being on auto-pilot the whole time. And tons of people were like this. Must have been a site for the people working. In fact, I wondering if I'll be allowed back...
Also, I'd like to extend an apology to anyone I might have offended, messed with, started with, hit on or said something inappropriate to...because in my state, I would have thought this was fire:
In fact, if you talked to me, I probably sounded something like this:
Thanks to everyone for showing up and being ill. Don't let us throw a party, cause it might just be the best one ever that no one remembers. A few peeps did get booted for being redic or obnox, bug overall it was a pretty solid and unreal night. I even think our buddy and blog contributor Balla had to leave. See 0:36 below for how he was kicked out:
If you have any mems or stories, feel free to share. Party On.
Just like I have been doing the past few weeks I just throw my dudes in here because I can....even if I don't think the tracks are as good as some others.
Ma$e - "Shut the City Down"
Lloyd Banks - "Lights, Camera, Packin"
Murda Ma$e and the Punch Line Kid....GetEmmmmahhhhhh.
First one was once again a no doubter....especially after Gambee texted me about it today.
This came out a few days ago...Em finally went back at Mariah for her "obsessed" track. Why would you ever go at Em? I think this track proves he's back too, he got on a dre beat to slay Mariah and Nick on this one...wooooooo.
Eminem - "Warning"
Next I have something that's been out for about 2 weeks but I really think Kanye kills this first verse.....what do you think? Twista feat. Kanye West - "Alright" Kanye rapping on a Kanye beat....his swag is incredible.
So once again...I ask you not to judge these pictures. It's just a couple of the guys having a good time in between learning. You probably all think we are such bad examples because we jokingly do the DX chop, or because I'm posting these pictures on the blog (which I probably shouldn't be), but if you went in there and asked who the best counselors/teachers assistants were, it would be dudes like me and Nick. I invite you all to come and visit us...next week is the last week....get at the kid and come meet the BEST KIDS EVAAAAAAAAA.
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